Elvis is Undead!
Graceville – The peace of the grave
was shattered last night when a UFO raided Graceland. Space aliens from the
flying saucer abducted Elvis’s rotting corpse and restored the dead singer to a
zombified semblance of pseudo-life.
“He’s baaack,” said the mayor of
Memphis, “and he’s baaad!”
“Undead, he sounds just as bad as he
did alive,” said Ditsy Oddbonken, recording secretary of the Elvis Former Fan
Club. “And when we saw his corpse twitching there in that spotlight cast by the
UFO – well, you could just tell that Elvis’s days of being alive are way behind
him.”
The Elvis zombie performed only
briefly; a few minutes of “Heartbreak Hotel” convinced the alien invaders to
return Elvis’s undead body to the grave.
“When Elvis climbed back into that
open grave, why, tears almost fell from my eyes,” said Joseph Allbright.
“Almost. And when he stopped singing, I almost missed the sound of his voice.
Almost.”
A disillusioned fan said, “Nothing has
changed. Elvis is still dead.”
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