Elvis is Undead!
Graceville – The peace of the grave was shattered last night when a UFO raided Graceland. Space aliens from the flying saucer abducted Elvis’s rotting corpse and restored the dead singer to a zombified semblance of pseudo-life.
“He’s baaack,” said the mayor of Memphis, “and he’s baaad!”
“Undead, he sounds just as bad as he did alive,” said Ditsy Oddbonken, recording secretary of the Elvis Former Fan Club. “And when we saw his corpse twitching there in that spotlight cast by the UFO – well, you could just tell that Elvis’s days of being alive are way behind him.”
The Elvis zombie performed only briefly; a few minutes of “Heartbreak Hotel” convinced the alien invaders to return Elvis’s undead body to the grave.
“When Elvis climbed back into that open grave, why, tears almost fell from my eyes,” said Joseph Allbright. “Almost. And when he stopped singing, I almost missed the sound of his voice. Almost.”
A disillusioned fan said, “Nothing has changed. Elvis is still dead.”