Once upon a time, a Sexual Moralist crept up toward the goddess Aphrodite while she slept. He slapped handcuffs onto the love-goddess, her left hand to his right hand, her right hand to his left hand.
The goddess awoke. She looked down, and she cooed, “Ooo, bondage! How kinky!” She rose to her full height; and as he dangled high in the air, she willed that there be chains leading from her hands to his feet, his back, his head, his buttocks and his man-part.
Aphrodite made him dance a merry jig, and she exclaimed, “What a clever little puppet!”
Moral: To control is to be under control.
Comment: I wrote this Underfable after contemplating the spectacle of sexual moralism, which cycles from puritanism to libertinism and back and forth and back again; an oscillation endowed with a passionate energy suspiciously similar to the sexual act itself.