LGTBT with
mayo on S.F. Sour
I have aesthetic objections to the acronym LGBT for
lesbian-gay-bi-trans. Very ugly and impersonal. I recommend, in its place, “gender
minorities”.
I
decided to satirize that bureaucratic acronym; so my daughter and I went
grocery shopping for these items:
Lettuce
Garlic
Turkey
Bacon
Tomatoes
S.F.
sourdough bread.
Once
home we made sandwiches from these ingredients, plus mayonnaise. Thus we had
some LGTBTs with mayo on S.F. Sourdough.
It
was turkey bacon because my religion tells me not to eat pig, and my wife tells
me not to eat mammal; and I would argue with Yahweh, or Sherri, each one alone,
but please, not both together.
A
pork-eater may have an LGBT, which is just an LBT with a clove of garlic
chopped in.
Well, it was delicious. The garlic clove gave it tang. (Our
grey cat Katniss approached me while I ate, fascinated; I blew at her and she
ran away.) Very filling; I had to nap afterwards. A success.
I have reported this culinary innovation to others; one of
whom insisted on the lengthier acronym LGTBTQQIA. (one T = Transvestite, Q =
Queer, Q = Questioning, I = Intersex, A = Asexual.) But I’m not sure what
ingredient’s for I; and such a Dagwood sandwich would be tiresome to make and
messy to eat. So I retort that the “mayo” in an “LGTBT with mayo on SF
Sourdough” stands for M, or Miscellaneous gender minorities.
You are what you eat; and even though I am not a lettuce,
nor a garlic, nor turkey bacon, nor a tomato, nor quinoia, nor quince, nor am I
avocado, still I am a sour San Franciscan, so it’s fitting for me to eat it.
