Friday, January 23, 2015

Dark of Night Explained



Dark of Night Explained

Why is night dark?
If night weren’t dark, then everything would be illuminated.
If everything were illuminated, then there would be no mysteries.
If there were no mysteries, then there would be no excuses.
If there were no excuses, then life would be impossible.
If life were impossible, then I would never have written this, and you would not be reading this.

But I did write this, and you are reading this;
therefore life is possible;
therefore there are excuses;
therefore there are mysteries;
therefore not everything is illuminated;
therefore night is dark.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Cat Waste Explained



       Cat Waste Explained



While cleaning out the litterbox, I asked myself;
Why do cats shit?

The answer is, of course;
Because you can’t unburn a candle.
- that is, because entropy increases. But then this raises the question:

Why can’t you unburn a candle?
Because tiny chaos always grows.
- which explains entropy as molecular disorder. But then:

Why does tiny chaos always grow?
Because later is likelier.
- the thermodynamic arrow of time. But then:

Why is later likelier?
Because the universe will expand forever.
- which links thermodynamic and cosmological arrows. But then:

Why will the universe expand forever?
Because far stars fall up.
- which links the cosmological arrow to cosmic acceleration. But then:

Why do far stars fall up?
Because vacuum sucks.
- which links cosmic acceleration to dark energy. But then:

Why does vacuum suck?
Because empty space is active.
- which links dark energy to zero-point energy. But then:

Why is empty space active?
Because everything is a little bit fuzzy.
- which links zero-point energy to the uncertainty principle. But then:

Why is everything a little bit fuzzy?
Because particles are waves.
- which the uncertainty principle to wave-particle duality.

And now I run out of explanations! Why are particles waves? Beats me!


To recap:

Why do cats shit?
Because you can’t unburn a candle.

Why can’t you unburn a candle?
Because tiny chaos always grows.

Why does tiny chaos always grow?
Because later is likelier.

Why is later likelier?
Because the universe will expand forever.

Why will the universe expand forever?
Because far stars fall up.

Why do far stars fall up?
Because vacuum sucks.

Why does vacuum suck?
Because empty space is active.

Why is empty space active?
Because everything is a little bit fuzzy.

Why is everything a little bit fuzzy?
Because particles are waves.


So cats shit because particles are waves!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The Pre-Meaning



The Pre-Meaning

Consider the ‘meaning of life’. Does life have a meaning, or not? I propose that this is like the ‘first cause’ problem; in that life is full of meaningful activity, each meaning having a deeper meaning, and so on recursively, just like causation; is there a first one?
          In an earlier post I mentioned a ‘zeroth cause’, the putative cause of the putative first cause. Is there a zeroth cause? I see three resolutions: there is no first cause, as causation is infinitely deep; or there is a first cause, itself uncaused; or there is a first cause, and a zeroth cause, which cause each other.
          In similar fashion, define the “Pre-meaning” to be the meaning of the meaning of life. Is there a pre-meaning? I see three resolutions: every meaning has a deeper meaning, so there is no meaning for all of life; or life has a meaning, itself meaningless; or life has a meaning, and a pre-meaning, which mean each other.
          So either life has no meaning; or its meaning has no meaning; or meaning flows in a loop. I vote the third; life is full of loops.