- some philosophical doctoring -
1. A
Question of Motive
I write
about the troubles of the Catholic Church, and offer three diagnoses and two
prescriptions. The remedies I prescribe are powerful and effective but safe and
convenient; and I offer them free of charge.
But
first, a question of motive. Why should I help the Catholic Church? I’m not
Catholic; but I help out of neighborliness, and also self-interest. If you were
walking down the street and noticed that your neighbors were pennying in their
fuses, then you might advise them to get some real fuses; for if their house
catches on fire, then a few sparks may land on your own roof.
2.
Triple Diagnosis
The
Church’s troubles are three layers deep. On the surface, the problem is
psychosexual; below that problem is a managerial/political debacle; and causing
that is a persistent cybernetic malfunction.
The
surface psychosexual problem is obvious; priestly sexual ‘abuse’ of minors.
(The word ‘abuse’ is a euphemism for rape.) This problem is not unique to the
RCC; abusive sex is statistically not zero whenever adults supervise
adolescents. Nurses, teachers, counselors, coaches… note Penn State
But
civilization is organized to control people’s urges, usually. Turning pedophile
employees in to the police is part of management’s function; which brings us to
the Church’s managerial/political debacle.
The bishops failed to
protect the children; the hierarchy put its needs above the parishioners. So
goes the usual charge; but forgive me for not being shocked by normal
bureaucratic behavior. That the bishops were incompetent is simply the Peter
Principle; that their incompetence nonetheless served corrupt institutional
needs is standard opportunism.
In this imperfect world
of trial and error, most people don’t mind corrupt incompetence, being that way
themselves; but they do object to incompetent
corruption. If you’re going to do wrong, then you’d better do wrong right!
The bishops were incompetently corrupt. They hid facts,
and moved priests, in order to end scandal; but the facts re-emerged, and the
priests re-offended, and the scandal worsened. The more they tried to silence
dissent, the louder dissent got.
Why? How come this
failure of control? I see it as a cybernetic glitch; a breakdown of the
operating system due to faulty programming. The bishops were attempting the
mathematically impossible; faultlessness.
To the bishops, the Church
could do no wrong; therefore, when it did wrong anyhow, the Church had to seem
to have done no wrong; even though creating that false seeming itself involved
more wrong-doing. It’s a positive feedback loop, naturally culminating in
system crash.
Beneath the sexual
dysfunction and the incompetent corruption is nothing less than the sin of
Hubris. It is excessive pride; the belief in impunity.
Of course all of this
leads back to the Catholic Church’s doctrine of papal infallibility. A church
with an infallible pope is bound to believe itself infallible; but
infallibilism always backfires.
The Church proclaims
papal infallibility with great solemnity, but solemnity is not wisdom. They use
this power rarely, as if it were radioactive; and rightly so. They say that the
Pope has been infallible only twice; but that’s twice too often.
Infallibilism is
Hubris, which brings on Nemesis. The Greek goddess of retribution fights dirty;
she humbled the celibate church with a sex scandal.
3. Double Prescription.
The Catholic Church
suffers, on the surface, from a sexual dysfunction; beneath that, from
incompetent corruption; and beneath that, from a fatal system error;
infallibilism.
The incompetent
corruption will probably solve itself by ordinary bureaucratic infighting. The
bishops responsible will be kicked upstairs or sideways into useless posts;
normal attrition will do the rest. Since clerics have no children, there are no
family lines to defend. In a few decades turnover will be 100%, with all posts
re-filled from the laity.
That is the great
virtue of clerical childlessness; it prevents the rise of a priestly caste. If
clerics reproduce, as they do in other faiths, then there will be clerical
families; these rise and fall, like all aristocracies. This causes little harm
in decentralized faiths; but the church has a Papacy, which it dare not let
some falling dynasty’s idiot heir capture and drag down. Hence no bishop’s
sons; enforced so far by clerical celibacy; but clerical celibacy causes other
problems.
I therefore propose
that the Catholic Church replace clerical celibacy with clerical sterility. Let there be vasectomies for
all priests, tube-tying for all nuns, and sterilization also for their spouses.
Let them marry but have no children; this will give them personal experience
with married life, but will prevent nepotism.
Clerical sterility, as
opposed to clerical celibacy, has all the benefits of the old system (no
priestly castes) and none of its defects (sexual alienation, recruitment
shortfalls). It is safe and simple; less a reform than a tweak.
But no change, however
helpful, can happen unless the Church can change
at all. Infallibilism opposes change. Infallibilism is the denial of error;
but denying error is not the same as correcting it. In fact infallibilism is
the opposite of error-correction; it is error-accumulation.
I therefore propose
that the Catholic Church replace the doctrine of papal infallibility with its
opposite; a doctrine of papal necessity.
By this I mean a pope who is needed,
or inevitable, or you might even say unavoidable. Even the Church’s critics
will agree that the Church, as it is, needs a Pope to be what it is.
An infallible pope is
never wrong; but nobody else can live up to that standard; so an infallible
pope is not a guide. Whereas a necessary pope is Catholic by definition; anyone
in disagreement with him can go find another church. Thus a necessary pope is
stronger within the Church than an infallible one; but in return a necessary
pope must submit to necessity.
A necessary pope can
error-correct. He needn’t be impeccable; he need only be corrigible. His job is
not to make no mistakes, for mistakes are inevitable. His job is to unmake
mistakes, both his own and those of previous necessary Popes. This makes change
possible.
In sum:
Diagnosis of the Roman
Catholic Church:
Psychosexual
dysfunction, uncontrolled due to incompetent managerial corruption; this in
turn aggravated by hubristic error accumulation.
Prescription:
For the bad sex:
replace clerical celibacy with clerical sterility.
For the incompetent
corruption: this will purge itself.
For the hubris: replace
papal infallibility with papal necessity.
Fee:
Free. This is pro bono
philosophy-doctoring.
Signed,
Nathaniel Hellerstein,
Doctor of Philosophy
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