Proposition 007: A Modest Proposal
“Privatize the Licence to Kill!”
This is the ultimate centrist proposal; it respects both the energies of the free market and the authority of the state.
Any citizen may buy a license to kill at their neighborhood police station. The fee is 100% of the applicant’s earthly goods. The “100% fee” sets the rich and the poor on an equal footing, and ensures that crime shall not pay. It is the “bribe” to ensure that the cops “look the other way”.
“Poaching” (unlicensed killing) is punishable by confiscation and the death penalty. “Fee evasion” (money hiding) is punishable by confiscation and life imprisonment.
Free licenses and military hardware for veterans. Similar benefit programs for volunteer community service workers.
All applicants shall, with the assistance of a State-appointed legal secretary, fill out Form #39-54Q, Section 23, pages 17-96, in triplicate. “Crimes of Passion” applicants must consult psychosexual counselors.
The intended target is given 24 hours notice, and access to military hardware. No legal action is taken whichever one dies. Third parties off limits.
This legalized bribery system is the PAC principle, as applied to violent crime. It brings homicide under social control by uniting laissez-faire market efficiency with official government regulation. This proposal is centrist thinking at its finest.