Thursday, March 24, 2016

Pro-Life Wizard, an Underfable

            Pro-Life Wizard
            Once upon a time a pious pro-life Wizard got to thinking; is God pro-life? Or pro-choice? He noticed that the world has freedom of the will, but not immortality; so the world seems to be more pro-choice than pro-life. What is God’s role in this?

            The Wizard investigated. He called up an Angel and a Demon. The Angel said, “Foolish mortal, there’s no such thing as a pro-lifer”. The Demon promised “a new world order of moral clarity and a free lunch”. So lo and behold, God’s pro-choice. The Wizard wondered; should I rebel? But the other side offered a different bargain; a world with immortality but no free will. Would such tyranny, however benevolent, be desirable? Or would it be better to die?

            Meanwhile, a fellow pro-lifer planned vigilante justice. He told the Wizard, “The women who abort are murderesses, they must be executed, I have organized and armed a squad, we will take action at such-and-such a time and such-and-such a place.”

            The Wizard heard him out, went home, and thought it over. Then he called the cops, to warn them. When he hung up the phone, he noticed that his hand had a tiny little tremor. Wizardly, he intuited the cause: Parkinson’s. The tremor will slowly worsen over the decades; eventually it will kill him.

            But the wizard smiled. “That’s it?” he said to the air. “That’s the worst you can do?” And he laughed.

          Moral: Live free and die.

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