Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Titanic Vacation: entries 4, 5 and 6

            Dear Diary:

            The last few days they’ve been human-watching. Cloaked, of course, so the humans couldn’t see them watching them. Invisible, they’ve watched humans at work and play. But I don’t think they understood.

            Like when I took them to a baseball game. I thought they got it, but then Fwee-bah asked me, “Why are the spectators running around in circles?” They had the players mixed up with the fans! They thought that sitting in those hard seats, eating stadium food, was the athletic event, and that running around hitting balls with sticks was goofing off.

            Later I brought them to a Jonas brothers concert. Then I took them to a mega-church service. They liked them both, but listening to them talk about it afterwards, I realized that they had those two confused also.

            Nor could they tell a prize-fight from the stock market. But they could tell a wrestling match from a pundit debate because the wrestlers were smarter and more believable.

                        Yours, Sogwa

            Dear Diary:

            The Zeffycams went back to camp to sleep six or so days. I hung around here. It’s been very quiet and relaxing, except when the humans sent the jets. But the Blue Angels got dizzy again, so they went home.

            When the Zeffycams woke up, they found out that they’d been attacked by woodpeckers. The birds pecked at all of them except Gazzik - he tastes bad to them somehow! Also Zweedrix wasn’t attacked much, but he still cried.

            I told them they need wildlife repellent; namely, the odor of humans! Zweedrix said, “Why does human smell repel wildlife?”

            I said, “Partly it’s that they smell so much - the poor dears can hardly smell at all, they can’t tell - but also it’s their smell.”

            “But what is it about humans themselves that repels wildlife?”

            “They’re humans,” I explained.

                        Yours, Sogwa

            Dear Diary:

            Today Fwee-bah and I heard a weird noise. It was like a car alarm, or a whining child, with a kind of sneeze in the middle. Gazzik called the noise an “outgribing”, but Jayadu said, “Oh, it’s just your imagination.”

            I looked, and yes there it was, a full-grown Imagination. I saw it out of the corner of my eye, and I think it was purple-spotted, bat-winged, day-glo orange feathered, trumpet-nosed, antlered, green-tongued, three-eyed, pointy-eared, moth-antenna’d, cow-hoofed, snaggle-toothed and spring-tailed, and it had a satellite dish. I was pretty sure about the satellite dish but not so sure about the antlers, so I decided to look again, closer.

            The Imagination led us on a merry chase. We followed it to a clover field, where it disappeared. Fwee-bah said we were in a 4-leaf clover field, because that’s where chasing your Imagination will take you, so of course we went 4-leaf clover hunting.

            We didn’t have any luck. I thought I saw one, but where did it go? We looked and looked, but eventually Gazzik stopped us. “It’s no use,” he said. “Only the unlucky ones ever get picked, and who wants an unlucky 4-leaf clover?”

            So we gave up, and I swear that I heard that clover giggle. It squeaked a tiny little:

            HEE, hee, hee-HEE, hee!

                        Yours, Sogwa

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