Thursday, April 26, 2012

Titanic Vacation: entry 13

            Dear Diary:

            Today they raided a human garbage dump for plastics to eat. To them it’s like berry-picking. They gathered up shopping bags and wrapping foil and old computers and old TVs and old tires and tar and oil and gasoline; all delicious stuff to them. They put it all in a big pot to warm it up. Jayadu said, “This soup is so delicious it’ll eat itself!” Just then FWOOM, the soup burst into flames and burned all up. Zweedrix said, “You’re right, Ma, it did eat itself!”

            When they got back to camp at Kirby Cove, Fweebah went straight to their snack chest. “Momm!” she wailed, “where’s the coal?”

            “No snacks before dinner!”

            “But where is it? I thought we had some here!”

            “We do! ... don’t we?” Jayadu rushed over to look in their snack chest. Jayadu said, “Oh no! It’s empty!”

            Fwee-bah said,  “And look, the lock’s decoded! We’ve been raided!

            Gazzik strolled over. “Humans,” he said. “Those clever little pests cleaned us out.”

            Zweedrix said, “You mean... we’ve got no more oil?”

            Gazzik said, “Or gas, or coal.” He shrugged. “It was time for us to go anyway.” He pointed up and said, “Look! Up in the sky!”

            We looked up. There was something up there, getting closer.

            Zweedrix said, “It’s a bird!”

            Fwee-bah said, “It’s a plane!”

            Jayadu said, “It’s our ride. Come on, dears, it’s time to pack.”

            And there it was; the same Titanian Gamma-Ray Taxi saucer that brought them here, returned to pick them up. The Zeffycams packed their tent and the remains of their supplies - the human raid didn’t leave much - and bid me a fond farewell.

            We took photos of each other. I figure they could use their photo as a postage stamp, and I can use my photo for a wall poster.

            Then we exchanged souvenirs. I gave them a pile of dry seaweed, ten yards of rusty barbed wire, a dead tree and a burnt-up auto wreck; in exchange they gave me a bar of gold, a brick of silver, a fist-sized diamond with a pink panther-shaped crack in it, and a purple polka-dotted foot-wide pearl. They liked what they got, even though it was all junk; and I liked what I got, even though it was all junk to them.

            Just before they boarded the saucer, Jayadu said, “See you next year!”

            Meaning one Saturn year, 29.5 Earth years from now.

                        Yours, Sogwa

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