Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Why Sogwa should be President: chapter 6

            Chapter Six. The Distraction.

            Sogwa took her vacuum cleaner out of the closet; then she left Camp Goliath, and went out the gate. There she took off her name-tag, and packed it away, as a souvenir.
            She walked down the road a whiles. Then she set down her vacuum cleaner and walked forty feet away. She took the tiny bottle off her necklace and shook the raindrop out. Then she ran back to her vacuum cleaner as fast as she could, and saddled up; for the moment that raindrop hit the ground, it jetted up as a huge geyser of steam.
            The steam blasted high into the air; then curled around itself, and formed a spiral, then a funnel, then a vortex. The whirlwind gathered itself together.

            Coreena stood swirling before Sogwa, ten feet tall. She said,  “Whass two plus two, honeychile?” in a voice  loud enough to make windows rattle.
            Sogwa spat, “Four!”
            “An’ yo’ VERDICT, Judge?” Coreena had grown to twenty feet tall.
            “You mean, which is the lesser evil? Chimpy or the Spook?”                    
            “YES MA’AM!” Coreena bellowed. She was thirty feet tall.
            “Let’s see... that creepy Spook is scared of your Momma.”
            “GOOD! DON’CHA TRUST IT!”
            Sogwa said, “I do not!  It’s rotten!
            “THASS RITE!”
            “But what about Chimpy?”
            Coreena blared, “HE’S ROTTEN AN’ CRAZY!” She had grown to forty feet tall.
            Sogwa said, “All right, that settles it! Can you create a distraction?”
            Coreena laughed; HO, HO, HO, HO, HO! With each HO she grew ten feet taller. She curtseyed away from Sogwa, to the supercat’s relief. Coreena boomed, “AH’M READY, WILLIN’ AN’ ABLE, HONEY!”
            Sogwa said, “So why not pay the Emperor a visit?”
            Coreena laughed again; HO, HO, HO! She leaned over, ripped a pine tree out of the ground, and idly twirled it around as she moseyed easy down the road to Camp Goliath.

            Once there she used the pine tree to play piñata with the water tower. She bellowed, “WAKEY, WAKEY, CHIMPEE! ITS MEEE, COREEEENNNAAAAHHH!”
            After Coreena won the piñata game, she started to do some serious damage. The air was thick with rain and wood and glass and paper and money and suitcases, swirling high into the sky. Coreena howled, “WHAH YA HAHDIN’? DON’ BE SHAHH! LEMME IN! AHHHD LAAAAHHHHK AH WERRRRRRRRRRRD WITH YOOOOOOOOOO!”

            Sogwa said to herself, “Mission accomplished!”
            She powered up her vacuum cleaner and jetted into the air. Behind Sogwa was Coreena, looming ever larger over Camp Goliath. It looked like a good place not to be. Ahead of Sogwa was clear blue sky and the long flight home to Hannah.
            That’s the story that Sogwa told me last night, and now I’ve told it to you. The End.

             The Moral.

            Hannah said, “Mission accomplished? Did Sogwa just leave her there?”
            I said, “Yes, she did, and Coreena will tear Camp Goliath down to the ground! And you know what? The Emperor deserved it! How much did he say two plus two is?”
            Hannah smiled. “Anything you want it to be.”
            I frowned and crossed my arms. “And how much is two plus two?”
            Hannah counted on her fingers and said. “Four!”
            I smiled and said, “Good!”

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