Once upon a time the wise and holy Khatru proved, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that in truth there is no time other than now, nor any place other than here, nor anyone other than the wise and holy Khatru.
Few dared to confute the Khatru; and those few could not refute his logic. He argued that any proof of the existence of ‘there’ requires that evidence be brought ‘here’; and the same is true for ‘then’ or ‘they’. The hard-spoken Khatru intoned, “Bring me proof, here and now, that they existed, there and then!”
He backed this argument with others, just as valid; by force of which he converted all of his people to his philosophy. They recorded and published his sayings; then they traveled afar, across steppe, desert and ocean, bearing his proofs of presentism, here-ism and solipsism.
The Khatru’s disciples’ gospel recounted charming incidents from the Khatru’s childhood; and it described his appearance, and his family tree, and his Siberian hometown’s history and geography. It diligently specified when and where and who the Khatru was; and it also fervently preached that there is no such thing as when and where and who.
When the Khatru lay on his deathbed, his disciples showed him censuses, maps and chronologies, documenting the spread of the Khatru’s teachings. But the Khatru objected that those very censuses, maps and chronologies defied his teachings merely by existing; as did the gospel that they wrote about him. His disciples, impressed, added this objection to his gospel, as his final and crowning teaching.
Evening revealed the hard-spoken Khatru, dead in his bed. His disciples buried him, and the world went on.
Moral: Beware the disciple!