Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Clawback 1: Momma Bear’s Claws: an Underfable

          Clawback 1: Momma Bear’s Claws

          Once upon a time, a band of Angels Raptured to their Heaven all of the sinless children of Earth; and they also took all 144,000 of the Pure Saints Sealed Unto The Lord. The Angels broadcast on the water-hole band of the radio spectrum, from their colony in the Van Allen belt, to take credit for their deed. They promised more visitations soon.
          The next day a quorum of ten learned and powerful men convened. The Chairman began by asking a Scientist for his findings.
The Scientist spoke of electromagnetic emissions, and microwave signatures, and plasma solitons. When pressed for a summary, he said, “The aliens are basically ball lightning.”
          A General growled, “Vulnerabilities?”
          The Scientist said, “Electromagnetic pulse, maybe. And maybe they can be held in a Faraday cage. Further study is needed.”
          A Spymaster said, “The Pure Saints collaboratist cult left behind battle-plan scriptures; these specify time and place of the enemy’s next attack. That’ll be our chance to catch a specimen to study.” He and the Scientist nodded to each other.
          A Weaponeer said, “By tomorrow my company can arm fighter jets with Faraday dragnets and chemical EMP bombs. We can deploy a fleet of nuclear EMP rockets two days later.”
          The Chairman said, “Good. Prepare the ambush, trap a specimen, interrogate it, get those nukes ready, and deliver our ultimatum.”
          A Diplomat said, “We can contact them on the water-hole radio frequency. What are our terms?”
          The Chairman roared, “Return our children or else!”
          The Diplomat gulped while the other men bellowed, clapped and pounded the table. He said, “… and the collaborators as well?”
          The Chairman said, “Yes, for trial and execution.”
          “And by ‘or else’ you mean…?”
          “Extermination, of course!”
The Spymaster quietly shook his head. The Diplomat was a bachelor, he didn’t talk to his wife last night, he wouldn’t understand.

          Moral: Don’t get between Momma Bear and her cubs.

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