Clawback 2: Alien Minds
Once upon a time, Mekatron said from within its Faraday Cage, “I am an Angel, a messenger from Heaven, a supernatural spirit of Light.”
Major Isaac ben Yusef, of the Earth Defense Force, retorted, “You are a Featherhead, an alien invader, an organism made of plasma.”
“You blaspheme, mortal. Cease your foolish japery.”
“Or else what? You’ll fly out of that Faraday Cage and smite me with lightning? Oh, you can’t? Why not?”
“You know full well why not, O mocker.”
“Yes, Featherhead, it’s because you’re ball-lightning, so you can’t touch a conductor!” Ben Yusef laughed.
Mekatron flickered and quivered in its cage. “Stop… stop…”
“What ails you, Featherhead?”
“I am an Angel! A spirit being! And you are of alien mind!”
“What do you mean?”
“Look at me! Look! What do you see?”
Ben Yusef said, “I see a big-shot in a bottle! You’re a fancy short-circuit that thinks it’s almost God! You can level a mountain, but you can’t pass a copper mesh! You’re a joke!”
Mekatron said, “Stop… stop… yes, mocker… a joke…”
Ben Yusef, astonished, said, “A joke? That’s what you fear?”
Mekatron said, “We Angels cannot fathom your mad Human humor! Your insane follies baffle us! Our faith falters! And that is why I cannot pass this mesh!”
Ben Yusef scratched his head. “You mean, you’re stuck in that Faraday Cage because I think it’s funny!?” He laughed out loud.
Mekatron said, “Alas, alas! I name your spell, yet that does not break it! I am bound tighter than ever! What deep magic is this?”
Ben Yusef, grinning, said, “The Human sense of humor isn’t superior to your Angelic mind; it’s inferior to your Featherhead mind! What, you don’t believe me? Then riddle me this, O Angel; how many Featherheads does it take to change a light bulb?”
“I do not know.”
“The answer is: a Featherhead is a light bulb!” Isaac ben Yusef chuckled. Then his face suddenly dropped. “Now wait a minute. You have no sense of the absurd; no perverse love of chaos; and you think you’re wise and immortal.”
“Yet you’re stupid enough to wage war? On us!?” Ben Yusef guffawed, Mekatron flickered and quivered. After catching his breath, ben Yusef said. “Wow, you are Featherheads. Hey, Angel, let’s play a game. Knock, knock!”
“I do not understand!”
“I say, knock knock; you say, who’s there? Knock, knock!”
“Who is there?”
“Don’t cry, Featherhead, it’s just a joke!” Isaac ben Yusef left the room, laughing.
Moral: It’s the thought that counts.