Thursday, May 11, 2017

National Liar back files: Ends of the World

          Back-File Ends of the World

          Every issue of the “National Liar” reports the end of the world. That report is always on the front page, and it is always the second most important story. The National Liar has destroyed the world many different ways; by solar nova, asteroid impact, nuclear war, black hole absorption, and Judgement Day. The end is always sudden and complete; yet it never seems to have any noticeable effect on the average person’s everyday life.
          Here are some ends of the world that the National Liar never got around to during its print run:

          Lethal Pandemic           -        Homo Sapiens Extinct
          Black Hole          -        Earth Absorbed
          Ecological Collapse     -        Vertebrates Succumb
          Alien Invasion              -        Mankind Exterminated
          Viral Warfare               -        All Mammals Die
          Cthulhu Returns           -        Sacrifices World
          Earth-Moon Collision -        Planet Shattered
          Global Quake               -        Continents Sink
          Earth Ejected From Solar System
          Earth Falls Into Sun
          Neutrino Beam Mishap Extinguishes Sun
          Big Crunch                   -        Cosmos Implodes
          False Vacuum Decays

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