Tuesday, May 16, 2017

National Liar back files: Ten-Front War

          Ten-Front War

          Washington, DC – Civilian and military officials announced today that they have ‘irrevocably committed’ all Establishment resources to a Ten-Front War. These are the ten fronts:

          War on Crime
          War on Drugs
          War on Porn
          War on Gays
          War on the Poor
          War on Immigrants
          War on Workers
          War on Women
          War on the Family
          War on the Earth

          High-level officials expressed confidence that they shall be victorious on every single front, despite the fact that each foe is either unbeatable on indispensable. They added that losing on even one of these ten fronts is ‘unthinkable’, and therefore not to be thought about.
          “In our lifetime,” said Dr. Strangelove, “we shall achieve the total elimination of all ten of our enemies. There will be no crime, no drugs, no porn, no gays, no poor, no immigrants, no workers, no women, no families, and no Earth.”
          When our intrepid National Liar reporter asked what there will be, Dr. Strangelove replied, “No comment.”

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