In Praise of Hypocrisy: 3

            Absolute Hypocrisy

            But such grace is not the main business of hypocrisy. Defensive hypocrisy is a side effect; a reactive ‘lesser evil’ that’s ashamed of itself; but this essay praises shameless hypocrisy. This essay is about ‘offensive’ hypocrisy, proud proactive uber-hypocrisy, aggressive hypocrisy considered as an end in itself. This essay praises what defensive hypocrisy is defending itself against.

            This essay praises the virtue of hypocrisy; that is, the lack of integrity that calls itself integrity. This is for the people whose one rule is that there are no rules, and whose one God is that there is no God. This essay is in praise of the Absolute Hypocrisy of the Great.

            Absolute hypocrisy is how the powerful get and keep power. It dominates religion, politics, and commerce. We wage war for it; we make peace by it. Absolute hypocrisy is planned, systematic, ruthless, ambitious, unbalanced and self-righteous. Absolute hypocrisy deludes absolutely.

            Relative hypocrisy is to absolute hypocrisy as the guilty alibis of a normal crook are to the proud brags of a hardened sociopath. Relative hypocrisy evades its contradictions; absolute hypocrisy flaunts them, indeed makes them the core of its argument. Relative hypocrisy lies whenever it must; absolute hypocrisy lies whenever it can. The point is to overwhelm the victim’s capacity for critical thought. Enough little lies can build a Big Lie. Thus absolute hypocrisy is a crime against reason itself. Its ideal is doublethink.

            All those who aspire to absolute hypocrisy must eventually explain why up is down. If they pass the test, then power is theirs, and they have nowhere to go but up - or in other words, down.

            Up is down because that’s convenient. Once up is down, then yes is no, and false is true, and best of all, failure is success. (Or, to be precise, your failure is now theirs, and their success is now yours. How convenient, for you if not for them.) Once up is down, then facts are no longer stubborn, indeed are no longer facts.

            One stubborn fact remains; that although it’s convenient to you for up to be down, it would not be convenient to you for others to know that’s why up is down. No, up must be down for reasons entirely unrelated to you; so up is down for reasons that are not reasons. How fitting, for a crime against reason.

            Absolute hypocrisy is passionate. It defies logic, law, ethics, duty, honor, common sense, common decency, and all self-restraint. Most people can’t even imagine such debauchery, nor that such vice would call itself virtue. Most people are too sane, too humane, too decent to even dream such nightmares, unless they witness it themselves, with their own waking eyes. Thus absolute hypocrisy is educational, for those who survive it.

            It has certainly taught me a lot, lately.