Friday, March 31, 2017

Humiliation, an Underfable


          Once upon a time, a mighty God of righteous wrath decreed that all sinners must suffer eternal punishment in Hell. He believed that he himself was righteous, but in his wrath he committed crimes. Finally his evil deeds caught up to him, and he knew himself to be a sinner. By his own Law, he too was condemned to Hell.
His only escape from his own Hell was to renounce divinity. So he fell to his knees and he prayed to whatever God there be, to be a God no more, but instead live and suffer as a Human.
A beam of light shone down upon the fallen God, and a voice from Heaven whispered, “Beware, your prayer is granted.”
Right away he was reborn as a Human. But he had never been Human before; he wasn’t very good at it; so he never acquired much wealth, or power, or wisdom. The former God lived an utterly ordinary life, no better than yours or mine.

Moral: Payback’s a bitch.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

The Hot Bath, an Underfable

          The Hot Bath

          Once upon a time, Abram drew a hot soapy bath for his young son Moishe. He grabbed the lad, picked him up, and plunked him in the bath.
          Moishe yelled “Oy!” Then he sighed “Ahh…”
          Abram thought a moment. Then he told his son, “Moishe, taking a hot bath is the exact opposite of committing a sin. When you take a hot bath, first you yell Oy, and then you say Ahh. But when you commit a sin, first you say Ahh, and then you yell Oy!”

          Moral: Suffer now and avoid the rush.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

The Harrowing of Howtown, an Underfable

The Harrowing of Howtown

          Once upon a time, the people of pretty Howtown witnessed War in Heaven. The sky blazed black with darkness visible, crimson clouds rained magic fire, and Howtown turned into Inferno.
          Howtown burned with eldritch flame, with all the people chained to pain, all hope abandoned, all gains in vain. Yet despite their fall, the women and men, both little and small, changed their tiny ways not at all.
          Like ever before, they sang their didn’t and danced their did; they sowed their isn’t and reaped their same; they said their nevers and slept their dream; they reaped their sowing and went their came.  
          For they told each other, “Fear not, though all is lost. Our tiny ways are chained to pain, but so is any way, here in Hell. So keep calm and carry on. If we be damned, then let us be damned for who we are.”
          They suffered forever, then again forever. Then all the gods and demons slew each other, and the War in Heaven ended. Only Howtown survived. The fires expired; the sky blazed blue; and the people of pretty Howtown felt only the normal turmoil of Earthly existence.
          Compared to the War that they suffered before, this was Heavenly bliss; yet despite their delight, the women and men, both little and small, changed their tiny ways not at all.
Life went on, as if nothing had happened.

          Moral: Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.

Comment: I quote Milton, Dante and others; mostly “anyone lived in a pretty how town” by e.e. cummings.
          To pragmatic Howtown, Armageddon is just bad weather. “As if nothing had happened” is more than survival; it’s a diss.