Monday, April 27, 2026

The Rumor Mill

 

          The Rumor Mill

     Only the facts have been changed to protect the guilty

 

 

          TU from Stone, Maryland, reports:

·       Backstage at the Drug-War Announcement

·       The Physically Impossible Device Contract

GO from from Emeryville, Nevada, reports:

·       The Televangelist

 

·       Backstage at the Drug-War Announcement

TU reports, “I was visiting the studio at WHC Radio, in Stone, Maryland. There was a thin blue plastic curtain separating the newsroom from backstage. In the newsroom the two announcers were giving a live broadcast; top story was the announcement of the War on Cocaine. Backstage they were snorting cocaine. What made it worse is that one of the two newsmen was in on the scam, and the other one wasn’t. The War on Drugs has been a fraud from the beginning.”

 

·       The Physically Impossible Device Contract

TU reports, “When I was working for a military electronics firm, some of the designs were less than ideal. At one board meets I stood up and said, ‘This device is supposed to do something physically impossible. You do know that, don’t you?’ And the manager replied, ‘Yes, we do know that, but we have contracted to build it; so we will build it nonetheless.’ ”

 

 

·       The Televangelist

GO reports, “When I was visiting a friend, I encountered a familiar-looking stranger there. He wanted to buy some crack, but my friend does not deal in that stuff. The stranger had false hair, false teeth, and a false smile. He turned out to be a local televangelist. False every which way.”

 

 

Friday, April 24, 2026

Ten-Front War

           Ten-Front War

 

 

          Washington, DC – Civilian and military officials announced today that they have ‘irrevokably committed’ all Establishment resources to a Ten-Front War. These are the ten fronts:

 

          War on Crime

          War on Drugs

          War on Porn

          War on Gays

          War on the Poor

          War on Immigrants

          War on Workers

          War on Women

          War on the Family

          War on the Earth

 

          High-level officials expressed confidence that they shall be victorious on every single front, despite the fact that each foe is either unbeatable on indispensable. They added that losing on even one of these ten fronts is ‘unthinkable’, and therefore not to be thought about.

          “In our lifetime,” said Dr. Strangelove, “we shall achieve the total elimination of all ten of our enemies. There will be no crime, no drugs, no porn, no gays, no poor, no immigrants, no workers, no women, no families, and no Earth.”

          When our intrepid National Liar reporter asked what there will be, Dr. Strangelove replied, “No comment.”

 

Wednesday, April 22, 2026

National Liar Film Review: “Family Values”

           National Liar Film Review:

     “Family Values”

 

 

          In these days of prurient moralism, it is rare and refreshing to find a film which deals with truly adult themes in a truly adult manner. “Family Values” is such a film.

          The plot of the movie is simple: boy meets girl, boy weds girl, boy beds girl, girl gets pregnant, girl gives birth, new parents love baby, happy ending. The story is classic, indeed primeval, yet one which the plotmeisters in Hollywood have somehow missed – or told, at best, in fragments. Until now in the movies, love has been systematically separated from sex, and sex has been separated from reproduction. This film transgresses those boundaries, as does real life.

          This film combines romantic comedy, hard-core eXXXplicit sex and birthing documentary with a pro-family woman-centered message. There is absolutely no movie-style violence; but the birthing scene is live, authentic, uncut and unsanitized. This movie has real blood in it, but it is the blood of life-giving, not life-taking. All in all, a truly ethical, yet truly passionate, film.

          This movie has the look and feel of a “woman’s film”. It has a female director, a female producer, film verité style, tasteful editing and respectful plotting. All profits from the film shall go to the child’s college fund.

          This respectfulness does not interfere with a sense of joy and fun. The film’s ad slogan is “Go All The Way!”

          Unexpectedly, the Pope approved of this celebration of female sexual power. His Holiness explained, “For us to oppose this film would be for us to condemn human reproduction itself, and that would defy the Will of God.”

The Christian Coalition, Planned Parenthood, the Islamic State, and the National Organization for Women were equally approving.

Ecumenical groups have arranged nation-wide supportive pickets outside every theater showing this film.

William Bennett, noted moral entrepreneur, said, “At last the movie industry has produced something decent.”

 

 

Wednesday, August 21, 2024

Trantor or Rivendell?

       Trantor or Rivendell?

 

            Check out:

            http://www.overcomingbias.com/2011/06/are-future-folk-friends-far-folk-rivals.html#comment-473929

            “Is Time Us, Space Them?”

            They ask; which is better, a “Time” civilization of a mere 100,000 people, which lasts a billion generations, or a “Space” civilization of 1,000,000,000,000 people which lasts a mere hundred generations? It’s the same number of people but differently distributed in time and space.

            Most of the people on that thread preferred the Time civilization; but I, in contrarian mode, wrote:

<< 

          A civilization of a trillion doesn’t go ‘extinct’, any more than the

Roman Empire did; it ‘falls’, which means that some of the people

survive, but the way of life goes away, and there are successor

civilizations, which inherit some of the founding civilization’s ideas

and values.

         Whereas that billion-generation backwater sounds deadly dull; and it

will go extinct, all the way, its people and its ideas too. Why even

bother living there? It was never alive in the first place!

           I think the Space civilization will have a bigger positive cultural

impact on the galaxy than the Time civilization… even after a billion

generations!

          So I personally prefer the Space civilization over the Time. Trantor

rocks, Rivendell flops.

>> 

            The names “Rivendell” and “Trantor” are references; the first, to the Elvish town in J.R.R. Tolkien’s “Lord of the Rings” trilogy; the second, to the planet-spanning galactic capital city in Isaac Asimov’s “Foundation” trilogy .

            In my email I overstated the case. Details matter. First, let’s change the numbers a bit. As is the census proposed is:

            Rivendell: 100,000 citizens; 1,000,000,000 generations.

            Trantor: 1,000,000,000 citizens; 100 generations.

            But then Rivendell has too few people, and it changes too slowly. With 100K people, they have maybe a small college, two theaters, a business district, and it all shuts down at 11 p.m. Bo-ring! In fact the Council of Rivendell would consciously use boredom as a means of population and political control. Dissidents either get out of town or kill themselves. Imagine this Peyton Place of a townlet lasting for tens of billions of years! They’d have to pack up and move when the sun burns out; and meantime erosion and mountain-building is a major threat. If the landscape changes but the city doesn’t, then isn’t Rivendell literally dumber than the rocks?

            And as for Trantor; a trillion people would need to colonize distant worlds; so in what sense would it be ‘a’ civilization?

            So I propose this revised census:

            Rivendell: a million people, a million generations.

            Trantor: a billion people, a thousand generations.

            The first is a fair-sized colony, lasting for tens of megayears, a

longish species lifetime. So this is a Local Range; the Home of a Kind.

The second is a world civilization, lasting for tens of kiloyears,

about the length of history. This is a World Culture with a History.

            Trantor colonizes space, and Rivendell colonizes time.

            To keep Rivendell fresh, let’s make it a college town. Rivendell University, in its new location; they had to leave the old place (mega-volcano eruption) and build a new campus here. They’ve still settling in, it’s been only 1.7 million years. But despite Rivendell’s traditionalism, it manages to keep up with the times; for they accept students from all over the Solar system. How’s that for a happening place?

            And as for Trantor… there is no boredom on Trantor, and no shortage of rebels. Trantor is always up to something big; a war, a revolution, a reformation, a renaissance; political decay, cultural flowering, religious crises and scientific breakthroughs; and whatever Trantor does, it does it.

            Trantor never sleeps. So of course people will want to go to Rivendell  just for a bit of rest. But sorry, no uninvited visitors.

            So which would you prefer? Rivendell or Trantor? In this

revised version Rivendell is at least a somewhat happening place; and

Trantor has respectable longevity chops; and it’s a fair trade-off. The

city is to the world as history is to deep time.

            I see a perfectly fine SF novel in this, with a single world inhabited by both a Trantor and a Rivendell. (Almost everywhere, from Trantor’s point of view; temporarily, from Rivendell’s.) To Trantor,  a thousand years is a long time; to Rivendell, a thousand people is a big crowd.

            Rivendell has changed locations several times, to keep up with the geography. There are abandoned fossil Rivendells, which other peoples dug up for treasure and technology; notably the precursors to the Trantor world-civilization. The word “Trantor”, to the Trantorians, means the name of their planet; and also mankind; and also ‘culture’, ‘peace’, ‘order’, and many other soothing ideals; with predictable tragicomic consequences.

            A spacelike civilization meets a timelike civilization; temporarily, locally; yet everyone in Trantor is affected by Rivendell, even on the other side of the planet; and Rivendell never forgot Trantor, even after mountains wore down.

            For one thing, they stole a lot of tech from each other. There may even be a tendency for Trantor to re-create another Rivendell, on a distant world; and a reciprocal tendency for Rivendell to recreate another Trantor, in the distant future.

            Rivendell’s rebels will leave, and will either vanish into obscurity, or find a Trantor  to influence. Rivendell’s influence on galactic culture is slow but cumulative; a trickle of exiled geniuses; Trantor’s influence is all at once.

            Perhaps a rebel Rivendellian will leave, mix with Trantor society

collect a cadre of likeminded malcontents, and then leave for a distant

world, to found New Rivendell. (Where they will offer modern boredom!)

            Trantor’s rebels will go out, in waves after waves, each to form their own utopian Rivendells. Some of those Rivendells will go extinct, others will remain static, others will mutate into new Trantors.

            Rivendell is to Trantor as spore is to redwood.