Plucking the Pigeon
Once upon a time Working Joe was
outdoors, hammering nails, though the air was freezing cold. Big Boss was
driving by in his stretch limo just then; he ordered the driver to stop, and
rolled down a window.
Big Boss said, “Isn’t seven more
than five?”
Working Joe said, “Isn’t thirty-two
more than twelve?”
Big Boss said, “Have you ever had a
fire in your house?”
Working Joe said, “Not yet, but she’ll
set one in five years and he’ll set one in ten.”
Big Boss said, “Can you pluck a
pigeon?”
Working Joe said, “Send me one and
you’ll see.”
Big Boss rolled up his window and
ordered the driver to go. He then turned to Suxel, who was sitting next to him,
and he said, “Did you understand any of that?”
Suxel said, “How could I? You spoke
in riddles.”
Big Boss said, “And you call
yourself a super-lawyer! You, supposedly the cleverest man in town, but this
working man understood me and you didn’t! I give you three days to figure out
what we said. If you don’t, then you’re fired!”
Suxel was stunned. He hurried to his
office, and called an emergency meeting of all his subordinates, but none could
figure out the riddles. Suxel then summoned Working Joe, and he asked Working
Joe what that conversation meant.
Working Joe said, “I’ll tell you if
you pay me five hundred thousand dollars.”
Suxel said, “How dare you! Five
hundred thousand dollars for some wretched riddles?”
Working Joe retorted, “If it’s not
worth the money then don’t pay,” and he left.
On the third day Suxel knocked on
Working Joe’s door. He said, “All right, I’ll pay!”
Working Joe said, “The price has
gone up to a million.”
Suxel said, “All right, all right!
Here’s a check!”
Working Joe said, “Thank you. I’ll
be back shortly.” He walked outside, and with one mighty leap jumped straight
to the Bank. He walked in, deposited the check, walked out, and with another
mighty leap jumped back to Suxel, who had been standing there, sweating.
Suxel said, “Now tell me, quickly!”
Working Joe said, “When Big Boss saw
me working in the cold he asked if seven isn’t more than five. He meant to ask
whether I did not earn enough in the seven warm months to make unnecessary my
work in the five cold months. I answered that thirty-two is more than twelve. I
meant that with my thirty-two teeth I could eat up more than I could earn in
all twelve months.
“Big Boss then asked if I have had a
fire in the house. By this he meant to ask if I have sent any children off to
college, for that costs as much as a fire in the house. I replied that my
daughter will go in five years and my son in ten.
“Big Boss then asked me if I could
pluck a pigeon. I replied, send me one and you’ll see. As you can see, he sent
me you. So now go back to Big Boss and tell him if I have done so or not.”
Moral: If you can’t tell who’s the pigeon, then you’re it.
