A
Cat May Look At A King
“Eek,
eek!” Mischief squeaked. “Follow me!”
She
followed him at high speed, east on Easy Street, then north on Commonwealth
Avenue, then down on Brotherhood Way. This eventually lead to Market Avenue,
where they turned west. Mischief said, “I could have taken Church Way, but like
I said, it’s a bad neighborhood.”
“When
did Church Way turn into a bad neighborhood?”
“Since
he took over, when else?”
West
down Market Avenue; soon they got to the intersection of State Street, Church
Way, and Market Avenue. Mischief said, “Here’s the Pyramid.”
“What
Pyramid?” Sogwa saw a windowless cube, with a few heavily guarded entrances.
“It’s
a four-dimensional pyramid. That’s its base. Now follow me!”
Mischief
turned a quirky curl and vanished into the fourth dimension. Sogwa wrenched
herself out of Hellen-space and followed him into hyperspace.
She
and Mischief spiraled ana through hyperspace. The further ana in hyperspace
they got, the smaller the cube got. It shrank to the size of a large hall; then
windows appeared in its sides, and Mischief flew through.
“Welcome
to the Belfry,” Mischief squeaked. “Also called the Eye of the Pyramid.”
The
Belfry had lots of bells, of course; but also telescopes and control panels and
radar screens and video monitors. There
was a man going from monitor to screen to panel. He looked busy, like he was
looking for something.
The
Belfry was a good place to look from. That far ana in hyperspace had a great
view; you could see anything in Hellen-space, including everything inside
anything in Hellen-space, simply by tilting your head just so.
Mischief
introduced the two. “Sogwa, meet Chaim the watchman. Chaim, meet Sogwa the
supercat. Tell me, Chaim,” Mischief teased, “is she the one you’re
looking for?”
Chaim
looked Sogwa up and down. He said, “You’re no king. Or excuse me, queen.” And
he returned to his telescopes.
“Never
mind him, he’s on duty,” Mischief apologized. He showed Sogwa where the air
vent was; she took off the panel and slipped into the ventilator duct.
There
she followed the directions that Gabriel gave her. First a right turn; then the
next down turn, then the next kata turn; then right, down and kata again; then
again, and again. She hurried down a four-dimensional spiral deep into the
Pyramid.
Soon
she reached her destination; Gop’s dressing room. She quietly opened the air
vent and looked through. There he was.
Sogwa
landed softly on the floor, and padded up behind him. “Ahem,” she said.
Gop
the Image turned around. He said, “How did you get in here?”
“Oh,
I have my ways,” Sogwa purred. She slinked up to him, sat at his feet, and
stared wide-eyed at his face. She mewed, “I’ve never seen a theocrat
before.”
Gop
chuckled. “What do you think?”
She
pounced onto his lap and rubbed against his chest. “I bet you love all the
attention.”
He
scratched Sogwa behind the ears. “Heh-heh, true.”
She
jumped up to Gop’s shoulder, and whispered, “But I bet you hate the paparazzi.”
“Damn
nosy meddlers,” Gop grumbled.
“They’d
be out of business if it weren’t for the fans...” She climbed onto his back.
“Them,”
Gop grunted.
“They
never give you a moment’s privacy, they question every move you make...” Sogwa
rubbed against the back of Gop’s neck and purred. She nuzzled and gnawed his
hair.
Gop
sighed. “That’s the interesting thing about my job,” Gop remarked. “I don’t
have to explain myself to anybody. My acts create their own reality; others
explain it, afterwards.”
“In
my job,” said Sogwa, “I always have to explain myself.” She
climbed over to Gop’s other shoulder, and she whispered in his ear, “You see,
I’m a messenger.” She jumped from his shoulder to his lap, to the floor, to the
counter-top. “I bear a message.”
Gop
asked, “What’s your message?”
Sogwa
said, “See for yourself.” She licked a paw and held it out. Three bugs flew
forth and circled around the room.
Gop
looked at them in horror. “Listening bugs!”
“I’ve
just groomed them out of your hair,” Sogwa explained. “Smile, you’re on candid
camera. They’re transmitting, right now. They’re been transmitting. You
didn’t know that before, now you do, and that’s my message.”
The
listening bugs landed. One bug wore on its back the sign of the Blood Diamond.
Gop
growled, “Pat, you rat, stop telling me what to do!”
He
pointed a finger at the listening bug and shot out a lightning bolt:
ZAP!
The
listening bug blew up, and the mirror it was on shattered.
Sogwa
said, “But he’s a hit.”
The
second listening bug wore the sign of the Yellow Elephant.
Gop
raged, “Rush, you rat, I take back the loan!”
ZAP!
The
listening bug blew up, and the bottle it was on burst.
Sogwa
said, “He needed the straight dope.”
The
third listening bug wore the sign of the Almighty Dollar.
Gop
moaned, “O Ayn, Ayn, why have you forsaken me?”
ZAP!
The
listening bug blew up, and the bouquet it was on caught fire.
Sogwa
said, “It was the rational thing to do.”
Gop
said, “Thank you for removing all the bugs. I will reward your loyalty...”
But
Sogwa cat-laughed. Have you ever heard a cat laugh? It’s very annoying,
especially when the cat is laughing at you. “You’ve got dozens
more bugs! How long since you last washed your hair? And guess what, I’ve just
planted a bug myself!”
“You
planted a listening bug? Whose?”
“Libby’s!”
Gop
gasped. “You mean... Miss Liberty?”
“Yes,
the lady is back in town!”
“You’re
one of hers? Traitor!”
“Tyrant!”
ZAP!
But
Sogwa had already jumped out of the way.
ZAP!
He missed.
ZAP!
He missed again.
She
dodged his lightning bolts fast than he could aim them, for Gop was a superman,
but Sogwa was a supercat, and cats are quicker than men. She yowled, “Dissing you,
Bubble Boy!”
“Halt,
in the name of the Law!” Gop roared, firing bolt after bolt, missing and
missing.
“What
Law?” Sogwa said, dodging and leaping.
Gop
thundered, “I am the Law!”
ZAP!
“I
know...” said Sogwa, and jumped.
ZAP!
“... an even...” she continued.
ZAP!
“...better
Law.”
ZAP!
Sogwa
mewed at Gop from behind his back, “Power corrupts.”
She
slipped through the air vent and got clean away.
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