Dear Frenemy
A filk song
Chorus:
You can slay my foes,
dear Frenemy mine;
So destroy my foes, dear
Frenemy fine;
You got rid of my foes,
dear Frenemy free;
but you’ll never, no
never
no you never will ever
no you’ll never get rid,
rid of me!
Verse 1:
O Elder Desert, hot of
breath
the land of drought and
sun
you have no hideaway from
death
nor anywhere to run.
So when the Spanish came
for loot
we Hopi gave them sand;
we lured them down a
crooked route
to hottest driest land;
and left them there,
alone, to fry
in desert’s oven heat
and then we’d fondly bid
goodbye
and back to home retreat.
Chorus
Verse 2:
O Old Man Winter,
bear-skin clad
who kills by ice and cold
from Ukraine up to
Petrograd
your tyranny will hold.
So when Napoleon
Bonaparte,
then Hitler, did attack
we Russians from the land
depart
the earth all scorched
and black.
Then winter blasted sleet
and snow;
the armies froze and fell;
the troops consumed by
death and woe;
the empire gone to Hell.
Chorus
Verse 3:
O Mother Nothing, Lady
Suck,
O vacuum of the Night
your kiss gives neither
love nor luck
nor breath nor heat nor
light.
So when the Earthers came
to take
we Loonies ran away;
All life-support we did unmake
then swiftly we would stray
to scattered, private, hidden
lairs;
The Earthers we would
leave
in darkened domes, bereft
of air
without a whiff to
breathe.
Chorus
Verse 4:
O loser exiles, this I
say;
seek land that’s blessed
by curse;
then learn to live the
wasteland’s way
discover best and worst;
So when invaders come on by
you need but hide and
lurk
until they swift or
slowly die
by nature’s dirty work.
Of all the threats in
time and space
the very worst is man;
so run and race to find a
place
that kills you if it can!
Chorus
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