Rap Battle: Big Brother vs. Miss Liberty

Rap Battle: Big Brother vs. Miss Liberty

    By Nathaniel Hellerstein        c.  2016

Mythic Rap Battle!

BIG BROTHER!!

Versus!

MISS LIBERTY!!

BEGIN!

Big Brother:

Yo, it’s me! Accept no other!

The cold O.G. they call Big Brother!

I’m the man with a plan to command all the land.

When my troops march in like thunder

Then it’s time to knuckle under

Or else, bay-bee, you’re his-to-ry

And you must die or you must flee!

I sure can pound a rebel town!

I make ‘em fly and mow ‘em down!

Opposing me is plain insane!

I’ll sprain your brain with strain and pain!

Better run across the border

To escape my law and order!

For I am mighty, I am great

I am worthy, I’m the State!

I own the cops and all the crooks

And all the laws upon the books

And cash in the bank!

If you want me for a friend  

Then bend over, skank!

You will love me in the end!

Miss Liberty:

Dream on, dawg, you can’t beat me;

My name is Lady Liberty!

I’m way beyond your little league

For I know truths you can’t conceive.

I think outside your boring box

I think your head is full of rocks!

Your hypocrite law is idiotic  

Your odious order turns chaotic!

I fly so high on wings of desire

You creep so deep in mud and the mire!

You’re a bully and a meanie

With a teenie-weenie peenie!

You call me skank? From you that’s rank!

Oh, don’t ya know that yo the ho?

You’re bought and sold for guns and gold!

Such vile libels you have hurled

But I admit it’s true

That Libby loves the whole wide world

Except for only you!

Big Brother:

You bitchy twitchy witchy hellion

Say bye-bye to your lame rebellion!

I own your bones, my gun has won

A nightmare from room one-oh-one!

I’m preaching to the sleeping sheeple

A gleaming dream of seeming equal!

I plan a scam you cannot stop

With you on bottom, me on top!

Unwise to despise my servant spies

They’ll track you high and low for days

Then trap you in my crazy maze.

You’ll be waiting in my castle

In a line for a mile

For the bureaucratic hassle

Of your own show trial!

So I win, and you stink!

Let me be understood:

Your duck-speaking crime-think

Is double-plus ungood!

Miss Liberty:

There’s newspeak in your battle rap!

You babble like a Party hack!

Your tongue is tied up in a knot

A so-so flow is all you got!

It’s no surprise that loonie lies

Have blinded you despite your spies.

Your up is down, your war is peace

You don’t impress me in the least.

You brag and diss and threaten? Fine!

But I am I, and I am mine!

So do your worst, I’ll do my best

And I, not you, will pass the test.

For I am bright, and you’re a jerk.

No plan of yours will ever work.

Your bureaucrats all reek of booze,

Your cops go bats, your armies lose.

Now ya betta drop yer gun,

I got gunn’ry by the ton

I’m a pistol-packin’ momma

Who will fill ya fulla trauma

And I gotcha on a run!

Big Brother:

You silly child, can you not see

That I’m forever meant to be?

While lying low or living large

You’ll always find some thug in charge.

A cryptic crook who’s in control

A money troll who runs the show

Who knows what’s what and where to go

Who tells you what you ought to do

Because he’s got more sense than you.

I say with glee, that man is me!

Step aside for my pride

No remorse in my force

So my boast is the most!

I’m the top, I’m the first

I’m the best of the worst

I’m the right of the might

I’m the eye in the sky

I’m the King of the Kings!

I know all, I run all

So worship me, girl!

I’ll double down trouble

And conquer the world!

Miss Liberty:

Welcome to my universe!

I’m sure the one you’re from is worse.

You know it all? Oh is that so?

Then say which way the wind will blow!

You run it all? Oh what a mistake!

Anything, ever, you touch you break!

I wonder why? Here’s my surmise:

Everyone lies to the cop on top,

You don’t know squat, so down you drop!

I’m heading on up, I scorn your mistakes

‘Cause power corrupts, but freedom creates!

The secret of my witchy wishin’

Is giving people pure permission.

It’s very me to set folks free.

Obedience I don’t require

I just allow the heart’s desire.

I let there be truth, and justice, and me

Then super-shazam! It comes to be!

But you can’t work my holy magic

You lack sufficient soul! How tragic!

You are bland, I am grand

You will never understand

You’re psychotic, I’m erotic

You’re infernal, I’m eternal

You’re a devil lost in darkness

You’re a shadow in the night

I’m sublime, I’m divine, so I

LET THERE BE LIGHT!