Friday, April 13, 2012

Plan B, an Underfable

          Plan B, an Underfable

          Once upon a time a fleet of flying saucers approached planet Earth. Just outside the orbit of the Moon, they encountered an Angel, who said unto them, "Greetings, space travelers! I welcome you in peace if you come in peace; for peace is plan A, whose failure is not an option."

          But the aliens said, "We do not come in peace, we come to conquer, for conquest is our own plan A, whose failure is also not an option."

          The Angel said, "Dear fellow-beings, I pray that you reconsider! Failure is never an option, but it is always a possibility! Strife yields grief; only harmony brings fulfillment; for that is the Law. Therefore let us reason together! Show me a sign of your goodwill, and all will be well between us."

           In reply, the saucer fleet vaporized the Lunar Farside telescope with a gigawatt infra-red laser.

           "Alas, alas!" the Angel wailed. "Plan A has failed!"

           So the Angel armed its antimatter cannon and fired a volley of pellets at the invading fleet. Each antimatter pellet hit a saucer dead on, and each saucer then exploded with the force of twenty-three thousand tons of TNT.

           The fireballs blossomed and cooled, and the Angel wept. “Oh well,” it sighed, “It's good to have a plan B.”

          Moral:  Talk softly and carry a big stick.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Moral Clarity, an Underfable

        Moral Clarity
        an Underfable



       Once upon a time, the Lesser of two Evils said this to the demons of Hell:
       "My Fellow Fallen:
        If you elect me President of Hell, then I promise moral clarity. During my Administration, lies shall be barefaced, injustice shall be overt, and corruption shall be open. Mine shall be an honest evil; an evil with integrity, an ideal evil that stands upon principle! Under my Presidency, Hell shall be a blazing City in a Pit!
        But if instead my brother is elected, then he will erase every line between evil and good. You won't know what's wicked; not even hypocrisy will be reliable. Chaos will reign!
        I shall be the best possible President of Hell, but my brother will be the worst. For Hell's sake, I must win; therefore vote for me!
        Never mind my brother's advantages in money, votes and organization. I have passion! I have faith in myself, and pride as well! I create my own reality, I believe my own propaganda, I'm number 2 but I try harder! I have the vehemence that moves mountains!
         My brother says that his election is a certainty. He says that it is inevitable. He says that resistance is futile. But I say no! I stand athwart history, yelling Stop!
         The stakes are high; Hell's reputation is in danger; for if my hypocritical brother is elected, then he will make Hell look as if it were good! Such an abomination cannot be. It must not be. It is unthinkable; so let's not even think it!
        In this holy culture-war for the soul of Hell, failure is not an option! Therefore vote for me!"
        Election day came and went. When all of the votes were tallied, only the Lesser Evil was surprised by the result.

       Moral:        Vehemence is not certainty.



Wednesday, April 11, 2012

On the rights of the nonexistent

          On the rights of the nonexistent

               In yesterday’s blog I discussed the rights of the unconceived. Do they have rights trumping the right of existing adult women to contraconception? The Roman Catholic Church, and the Republican Party, both say yes. I found this a fascinating idea, in paralogical terms; and I wondered if these rights extend to other nonexisting people; specifically, the dead and the fictional.

               Define “existism” as denial of the rights of the unconceived and the otherwise nonexistent. I can think of no more deeply engrained bigotry; for all existing institutions are systematically biased in favor of the existing, simply because they themselves exist. The nonexistent have neither voice, vote nor valuta.

               But the city of Chicago offers hope of reform. One needs only a name to vote there, sometimes repeatedly. The unconceived can vote there, and the dead, and the fictional. Even those who do exist, but are presently absent from Chicago, can vote there, in their absence and even without their knowledge!

                In general, the Rights of the Absent are a local version of the Rights of the Nonexistent; for absence is local nonexistence. In fact all of us are absent in all but one small volume, and there only temporarily; so this issue involves us all.

               As for the rights of the dead... another can of worms! Does posthumous Mormon baptism violate the religious liberty of the departed? Can the dead register on a Do Not Baptise list? No, they can't... except maybe in Chicago.

               And as for the rights of the fictional; there seems something morally suspect in the way that writers will introduce minor characters, make the reader like them, just to abandon them to horror and death. The author treats those fictive people as means only, not ends in themselves. Surely this is unethical. Why should it make a difference that these people are only fictive?

               Note that the manipulative author makes us care just enough about the fictive victim before disposal; so the author mistreats not only the fiction but the reader too. And even that is a best-case scenario. Even worse is when the fictive person is treated as a mere prop, as quickly disposable furniture!

               For the issue, in Fictive Rights, is not cruel mistreatment. That’s part of the fictive person's job description; overcoming adversity builds character; that's how characters make their living. The abuse is not fictional suffering; it is badly-written fictional suffering. One must suffer for Art; that is inevitable; but if a fiction suffers, then it ought to get the Art that it earned. It's a matter of labor-management relations. Authors had better respect this, or their fictions might go on strike.

               There is legal precedent for Fictive Rights; namely the personhood of corporations. Perhaps the dead and the unconceived and the fictional should incorporate themselves.

                And what of the Gods? Are they any less fictive than a corporation? And therefore, don't they deserve the rights of the nonexistent? These include freedom from all obligations, an alibi for all crimes, and a vote in Chicago.

               - but alas, even corporate law, theology and Chicago politics have systemic existism! For the nonexistent have no voice of their own, so only spokespersons can speak for them. But those spokespersons themselves exist, and so cannot truly represent the nonexistent. Therefore all positive rights for the nonexistent tend to reduce, in practice, to privileges for their spokespersons. 

               Positive rights for the nonexistent do not exist. They have only negative rights, such as the right to remain silent.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

On Rights for the Unconceived

                    On Rights for the Unconceived

  
               I start this blog with a quatrain celebrating one of the blessings of modern life:

               Enfettered by the seed of men?
               This wheel, darling, guards for thee
               Affection, passion, love and yen;
               A month of women's liberty!

               I refer to contraception, of course; which is now suddenly the Republican party's signature issue. They're against it.

                At first the Catholic church didn't want to pay for birth control; so the centrist technocrat Obama said that the insurance companies will be glad to pay instead; but a handwashing that Jesuitical didn't suit the bishops this time, and the rumble was on.

               Sandra Fluke tried to argue a subtle point; that the pill has other uses, including in some cases saving a woman's fertility. She tried to say "it's complicated", but a certain creepy radio demagogue wasn't into complications, or subtlety, or reason, or R-E-S-P-E-C-T, or any class at all. His mortified advertisers whapped him over the snout with a rolled-up newspaper, so he apologized for two of his libelous insults.

               Nonetheless lines were drawn, and positions staked out. As of now, the Republican party no longer believes that life begins at conception; instead they affirm that life begins at ejaculation. Every sperm is sacred! A potential human being need not come to term, nor implant in the uterine wall, or even have a genetic code yet. Even the unconceived have rights, ones which trump the rights of adult women!

               Rights for the unconceived! The idea fascinates me, as a paralogician. Do the unconceived have rights? If so, then anti-contraception laws make sense; but also laws against masturbation. But how to enforce such a law?

               If contraception is a violation of rights, then whose rights? Who are the unconceived? I can’t even conceive it! But if I deny them any rights, then isn’t that a prejudice?

               Define “existism” as denial of the rights of the unconceived and the otherwise nonexistent. I can think of no more deeply engrained bigotry.

               An old jest states “It’s better not to exist at all; but how many are so fortunate? Not one in a million.” This Non-Existentialist jest brings into focus the existism built into all existing institutions. Since they exist, they only count what also exists. It's systemic discrimination against the nonexistent. 

               But the city of Chicago offers the hope of reform. In most cities, the unconceived have no votes; but Chicago is a leader in political innovation; for Chicago extends the franchise not only to the unborn, but also to the dead! This broadens the anti-existism front. Do all of the nonexistent have rights? And what are those rights?

               I can think of three rights, inalienable from the nonexistent:

      1)    Freedom from all obligations.
      2)    An alibi for all crimes.
      3)    A vote in Chicago.

               But alas, that last right is contaminated by existist bias; as I shall explain tomorrow.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Back home; plus "Not Me", an Underfable

I am back home, after a week across the country. I am still un-jet-lagging, and will until Wednesday.

I restart the blog with a new Underfable:


****


    Not Me

  
     Once upon a time two mighty nations laid waste to the land in pursuit of wealth. The forests fell, and Mother Earth cried out, "Who will rid me of these pests?"

     The Devil said, "At your service, milady." So the Devil visited the King of the Trogs, and he whispered, "I do not exist here, or in you; but I do exist over there, in them." Then the Devil visited the Elf Mage, and he whispered the exact same thing.

     A mere millennium later, the forests grew tall, but not one Trog or Elf remained.

    Moral:
     It's always the other guy's fault.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Away for eight days


           I will be away from home for eight days, from April 1 through April 8, traveling back East. I’ll have a netbook with me, and a thumb drive with many files on it; so I might be blogging during that time, but likely not. So expect this blog to be quiet during that time. 
           So until the second week of April, signing off.

On The est Paradox

        On The est Paradox

        In former days I bought into some serious follies. I’d catch a meme like a bad cold, and it would take hold, and run its course, then leave me when I finally developed mental immunity. One such mind-flu was est; that is, Erhard Sensitivity Training. Really it was assertiveness training, with some primal scream and some New Age claptrap.
        It did boost my self-confidence, or at least it was an excuse for expressing self-confidence.  So why not some more seminars? They called to ask me to sign up.  I bought in, as far as my budget let me. Eventually they had me helping with phone banks.
        In the last phone bank I joined for est fundraising, I complained about the work rate, and the supervisor accused me of “shitting in the space”.  I shall treasure that memory forever.

        Then came one more phone call, from precisely one of those phone banks, asking me to join another seminar.  I said that I didn’t want another seminar. She persisted, and I decided to get tough.

I said that est is an assertiveness training seminar. She agreed. Then I said that if I agreed to more seminars, even though I don’t want them, then the previous seminars would have failed. She agreed to that. I said that if on the other hand I refused more seminars, then the seminars work, and deserve my money.  She agreed to that.
I said; if I agree to more seminars, then those seminars would already have failed, and I shouldn’t spend the money; but if I refuse more seminars, then the training is effective, and I should spend the money. She agreed to that.
I said;  This is a paradox. The est training is effective, and deserves my money, to the exact extent that I deny that it is effective.  Either  I pay money for assertiveness that I do not get; and so you cheat me; or else I refuse to pay money, and get all of the assertiveness for nothing at all; and so I cheat you.
She agreed to that.
I concluded,  Of the two I would rather not be the one cheated.  No more seminars, please.
        After some goodbyes, we hung up; and est has never called me since.
        It was a very estian way out of est, and I’m glad that at least I got ‘shitting in the space’ out of the experience; and also the est paradox:

        Assertiveness training works to the exact extent that the client denies that it works. It is worth the money only if you refuse to pay.