an Underfable
Once upon a time, the Lesser of two Evils said this to the demons of Hell:
"My Fellow Fallen:
If you elect me President of Hell, then I promise moral clarity. During my Administration, lies shall be barefaced, injustice shall be overt, and corruption shall be open. Mine shall be an honest evil; an evil with integrity, an ideal evil that stands upon principle! Under my Presidency, Hell shall be a blazing City in a Pit!
But if instead my brother is elected, then he will erase every line between evil and good. You won't know what's wicked; not even hypocrisy will be reliable. Chaos will reign!
I shall be the best possible President of Hell, but my brother will be the worst. For Hell's sake, I must win; therefore vote for me!
Never mind my brother's advantages in money, votes and organization. I have passion! I have faith in myself, and pride as well! I create my own reality, I believe my own propaganda, I'm number 2 but I try harder! I have the vehemence that moves mountains!
My brother says that his election is a certainty. He says that it is inevitable. He says that resistance is futile. But I say no! I stand athwart history, yelling Stop!
The stakes are high; Hell's reputation is in danger; for if my hypocritical brother is elected, then he will make Hell look as if it were good! Such an abomination cannot be. It must not be. It is unthinkable; so let's not even think it!
In this holy culture-war for the soul of Hell, failure is not an option! Therefore vote for me!"
Election day came and went. When all of the votes were tallied, only the Lesser Evil was surprised by the result.
Moral: Vehemence is not certainty.
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