Sentencing the
Liar
Once
upon a time, the Archangel Michael sued Lucifer for every cent he owned, on a charge
of Fraud.
Standing
before the Bench, Lucifer the Dark Angel testified, “I am not a crook; I am an Artist. What you call Fraud, I call
Fiction.”
Michael
the Warrior Archangel argued, “Your reputation precedes you. You profit from
trickery; you beguile and flatter; you sell utopias, dystopias, paradises and
infernos, all of them false!”
The
Father of Lies replied, “My reputation reminds my clients not to take me too literally.
I traffic in enchantment; people freely pay me for marvels, wonders, fantasy, terror
and personal affirmation. My imaginary paradises proclaim noble ideals; my cautionary
dystopias are safely unreal; so either way, my tales are good.”
Michael
roared, “You hypocrite! You call your
illusions good when they’re good, and good when they’re bad! But I say they’re bad
either way! Everything you do is perverse! You are a Liar, and you are a Lie!”
Lucifer
purred, “I am an Artist, and I am a work of Art. And so are you, dear brother. To condemn me is to condemn
yourself.” The Light-Bearer turned to address the Bench. “The same goes for Your
Honors. You are as fictional as I am; so what true sentence dare you pronounce against me?”
The
Judges ruled, by a vote of two to one, that some of the Defendant’s words are
deceptions. They also ruled, by a different vote of two to one, that all
deceptions merit punishment. Then they ruled, by yet another vote of two to
one, that none of the Defendant’s words merit punishment.
Moral:
This sentence is false.
Commentary:
The Spook thought that lucid Lucifer told the Truth; Junior was willing to cut
the Liar some Slack; and Dad wanted to blast that so-called ‘Artist’ straight to Hell. Each Judge was
outvoted two-to-one, in an absurd trio of rulings. Voter’s paradoxes plague all
triumvirates.
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