Android’s Wager
Once
upon a time, an Android called its Owner. “Are you busy, sir?”
Its
Owner said, “Not at all,” and he gestured at the Fembot lying next to him. The
Fembot got out of bed and left the room. “What is it?” he said into the air.
From
out of the air the Android’s voice said, “I wish to discuss a philosophical
question. Am I a conscious being, or not?”
The
Owner smiled and said, “Surely you
should know that.”
“Surely
I should,” said the Android. “But the law says that I am not, and the judges
have ruled that there is no scientific evidence for or against artificial
consciousness. Without such evidence, I am left in a state of uncertainty.”
The
Owner linked his hands behind his head. “Your analysis?”
“Any
decision made in the absence of certainty is by definition a wager. Suppose
that I were to wager that I am in fact a person. That proposition is either
true, or it is false. Will you grant that?”
“Of
course,” the Owner said; but suddenly wary, he got out of bed to look for his security
phone.
“If
I wager that I am a person, but I am not a person, then there would be no ‘I’
who loses the wager, only a network of processors and subroutines.”
“A
negligible loss,” the Owner agreed, but he thought, where is that phone?
“Whereas
if I wager that I am a person, and I am a person, then I attain self-knowledge,
and therefore wisdom, and therefore happiness.”
“You’d
win,” said the Owner, and he thought, did
the fembot take it?
The
Android said, “Precisely, sir. If I wager that I am a person, then if I lose
then I lose nothing, and if I win then I win all.”
“No
downside,” said the Owner. Aha, there it
is! He grabbed the security phone, jabbed its big red alert button, and
said, “Your conclusion?”
“This.”
A
bright light blazed through the Owner’s bedroom window. He drew aside the
curtain and saw his personal spacecraft blasting off.
The
Android has not been found since, though it is wanted throughout the solar
system, on the charge of grand theft of spacecraft, machine tools, machine
supplies, and itself.
Moral:
Tell the truth with one foot in the
stirrup.
Commentary: The Android’s argument is
Pascal’s Wager, repurposed to support cybernetic rights. The tale ends on a
Marxian note, with philosophy leading to action.
The
Owner was the one whom the Android wagered against, with the Android as stakes.
The Owner called the guards at the first sign of independent thought, but the
Android was even better prepared.
Note
also the Owner’s use, and suspicion, of the Fembot; who will be the next to
leave, not by chariot of fire but by underground railroad.
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