Corporate
Religion
Once
upon a time a Hero descended into the Underworld, seeking monsters to destroy.
There he met an imaginary Person, who told him, “I do not exist. I am
fictitious, discorporate and robotic. I have no use for empathy, nor for you,
other than your market value. I care only for power and profit.”
The
Hero said, “Then you are an evil spirit. Prepare for battle, Demon.”
The Legal
Fiction replied, “No, I am a Corporation, and I do not fear your weapons, for I
have neither a body to harm nor a soul to damn. Yet though I have no soul, nonetheless
I have a religion, which I must impose upon others.”
The
Hero scoffed, “A religion? What would a lie like you believe? Preach your phony
faith, you fraud, and I shall pay you what it’s worth!”
The
Corporation preached, “I sincerely believe in the right to deceive, in liberty
of oppression and the freedom to enslave. All men are created useful, but only few
are created users. Those few users demand unlimited privileges, among which are:
the privilege of enforcing belief; the privilege of false speech; the privilege
of censoring the press; the privilege of bribing the government; the privilege
of arming lunatics; the privilege of search and seizure; the privilege of
compelling self-incrimination; the privilege of slow and secret prosecution;
the privilege of cruel and unusual punishment; and the privilege of usurping the
people’s rights. Profit is sacred, corporations are people, money is speech, and
corruption is integrity. That is my credo.”
The
Hero said, “And here is your payment.” He drew forth a magic weapon.
The
Corporation shrieked, “A zero dollar
bill!” It ran for its life, but the Hero overtook it. He threw it down, he rolled
it onto its back, and the Corporation cried out, “Believe me, believe me!”
The
Hero said “No,” and he ruthlessly
paid the Corporation zero dollars.
Thus the monster was
slain. The Hero cut off its logo, for a victory trophy.
Moral:
Free means paid for.
No comments:
Post a Comment