Friday, April 24, 2015

The Helpful Reader, an Underfable

       The Helpful Reader

          Once upon a time, the Lord God decreed, “Let there be light.” And there was light; and evening and morning were the first day.
          But Mary Sue said, “How can there be evening and morning before there’s a sun?”
The Lord God said, “Let there be a firmament to divide the upper waters from the lower.”
          Mary Sue said, “What upper waters? Outer space is a vacuum.”
          The Lord God continued, “Let earth and water bring forth plants and animals of every kind, and may they be fruitful and multiply.”
          Mary Sue said, “All of this micromanagement is boring. Why bother? A biosphere can evolve by itself!”
          The Lord God said, “But evolution takes aeons.”
          Mary Sue said, “And you have all eternity, right?”
          The Lord God said, “Well, yes…”
          Mary Sue smiled brightly. “I’m glad I could help.”
Mary Sue then proceeded to explain the Golden Rule to Jesus, the Middle Way to the Buddha, geometry to Euclid, universal gravitation to Newton, and general relativity to Einstein.
          Moral: You can’t read with your eyes shut.

          Commentary: I too am Mary Sue, and so are you.

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