Methods of Mathematical Proof
From Hampshire College
This list cannot be complete by Gödel’s Incompleteness theorem. See #3.
1. Proof by induction. Always done on equations with n in them.
2. IO. Intuitively obvious.
3. HW. Handwaving.
4. Proof by contradiction.
5. Proof by intimidation.
6. Proof by political theory.
7. Proof by bullshit.
8. Proof by construction.
9. Proof by lack of counterexample.
10. Proof by apathy. Why not?
11. Proof by confusion.
12. Proof by assumption.
13. Because I read it somewhere.
14. Because it’s on the homework.
15. Proof by pseudomorphism.
16. Proof by personification. Zeno’s Theorem.
17. Because it looks good.
18. Proof by convenience.
19. Proof by topological equivalence. Coffee cup and donut.
20. Write a love letter instead.
21. Proof by seduction. Please!
22. Proof by illogic.
23. Because it’s 12:30 and I have 12 pages of homework left.
24. Proof by bartender.
25. Proof by drunkenness.
26. Proof by masturbation. Proof by exhaustion – play with it long enough.
27. Proof by definition.
28. Proof by dirt – fuck you if it isn’t true.
29. Proof by reiteration. Pseudomorphic to #26.
30. Proof by toilet inspiration. I was sitting there shitting and …
31. Proof by linear combination of the preceding.
32. Proof by elliptical reasoning. May be generalized to all conic sections.
33. Proof by mutual consent. Pi = 3.
34. Proof by transitivity, reflexivity, etc.
35. If it wasn’t true then I wouldn’t have heard about it.
36. CPCTC. Corresponding parts of congruent triangles are congruent.
37. It stands to reason.
38.
39. Proof by alternate interior angles.
40. Proof by Cauchy’s Theorem. There are so many, one of them has to fit.
41. Proof by coincidence.
42. Proof by changing all the 2’s to n’s.
43. Computer buddy said so.
44. Proof by sort of. W5SO = Which was what we wanted, sort of.
45. Proof by constipation. Stuck for an idea.
46. Proof by changing all the 17’s to n’s.
47. Proof by simultaneously relativizing quantifiers. LeTourneau method.
48. I told you 3 times, it must be true.
49. Proof by Art. Draw a pretty picture.
50. Proof by vision. Don’t you see?
51. Proof by intelligence. Any idiot can see that.
52. Proof by egotism. It’s valid because I said so.
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