Friend of the Palestinians

       Friend of the Palestinians

          A Modest Proposal

 

         The tragedy of Israel is that it has real enemies, and the tragedy of Palestine is that is has no real friends. For what would a real friend do, seeing someone as oppressed, desperate and lost as they are?

         Take them in, of course. Let them immigrate, give them houses and jobs and schools, and set up touchy-feely social programs to help them fit in. Plus have the cops keep an eye on the stupider amongst them. This’ll cost money and trouble, but that’s what a friend does.

         Have the Egyptians done that? No. The Saudis? The Iranians? No and no. So, not real friends.

         So who? Can you think of any large, rich and powerful nation with a glorious history of taking in masses of wretched refugees and turning them into productive citizens? Oh, that’s us.

         So here’s my modest proposal: 4.2 million green cards for Palestine. Plus the above-mentioned houses, jobs programs, schools, touchy-feely social programs, and cops. Pricey, I admit, but it’ll pay off big-time two generations later. I know this because we’ve done it before. Assimilation is one of this nation’s core competences.

         What, you don’t feel like it? All that money and trouble, just to live with masses of Moslems with PTSD? Maybe their grandkids will make great falafel, but until then they’re not our problem, they’re somebody else’s problem!

         I entirely understand. You care, but not enough to really help. Which proves my point; the Palestinian people have no real friends, and that is their tragedy.