Solar Blast Shielding
Once the weather was hot and humid at the College of San Hemlock. What’s worse, the room that I, Diogenes, teach in has big south-facing windows letting in scalding-hot sunlight. Fortunately some of the lower windows open up; and there are big white curtains to roll down, which blocks most of the light and heat. But not all; and what’s worse, when all the way down the curtains block the open windows.
I had a dilemma. Shall I open the windows and roll up the curtains enough for ventilation, but also let in some sun-blast; or instead roll the curtains all the way down and block both sunlight and ventilation?
On Monday I tried a technical fix. I brought in some tape and a roll of aluminum foil, and taped the foil (shiny side outwards) to the lower windows. That way I could open the windows, then raise the curtains just enough, and so get both shade (better than the curtains!) and breeze.
It worked fine; but on Tuesday all the foil was gone. Someone (probably custodial staff) took it down. Heaven forbid that the faculty display initiative! The College of San Hemlock’s philosophy of climate control is the same as their philosophy of anything-control: centralized!
Thursday, I retried that technical fix, augmented by political spin. To wit: after taping up the foil, I taped to the foil some signs saying:
Solar Blast Shielding
DO NOT REMOVE
“Solar blast” meant hot sunlight, but I like how it also sounds like a supernova. Don’t worry if the sun detonates, because there’s aluminum foil on the lower windows! This trumps duck-and-cover by many orders of magnitude.
Friday I saw, to my delight, that the foil was still up. The ploy worked! So now I know a way to survive in a technocratic corporate bureaucracy; give orders in technobabble. Sound like Starfleet, and the minions will obey.
This I learned from the College of San Hemlock.
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