Diogenes at the College of San Hemlock, by “Diogenes”
San Hemlock Signage
The events of these tales happened to me when I, Diogenes, taught at the College of San Hemlock. CSH had its quirks, but it was much livelier than the College of San Generic, just a few miles down the interstate.
Take for instance the building signage. At San Hemlock, my department’s office was in Socrates Hall, which had a Hemlock Cup icon. Hemingway Hall had a Booze Bottle icon, Galois Hall had a Pistol icon, Marlowe Hall had a Dagger icon and Trotsky Hall had an Icepick icon. At CSH, every hall’s icon was what killed the hall’s honoree.
Some may question the good taste of this, but compare that to signage at the College of San Generic. At CSG, Socrates Hall’s icon was a vase, because Socrates was Greek, and so are vases. Edison Hall had a football icon because Thomas Edison was American; and Curie Hall had a Polish Sausage icon because Marie Curie was Polish.
I preferred CSH’s signage system to CSG’s. The Hemlock Cup icon told a better story than the Greek Vase icon. It was more offensive, and more vivid. It also expressed the administration’s true attitude towards the faculty with refreshing directness.
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