Do You Believe In Bullshit?

Do You Believe In Bullshit?

(to the tune of “Do You Believe In Magic?”, by the Lovin’ Spoonful)

Do you believe in bullshit?

It’s the darkest art

How confusion can freeze you

whenever it starts

and it’s bulll-shit

if the message is cheery

and makes you feel groovy

like you’re Timothy Leary

I’ll tell you ‘bout the bullshit, it’ll blow your mind

but it’s like tryin’ to teach a seer ‘bout being bli-ii-ind

If you believe in bullshit

don’t bother to choose

if it’s right-wing whingin’ or postmodern blues

just go listen to them whine for awhile

then wipe off your face any trace of a smile

Your head starts spinnin’ and you can’t seem to find

how they got you there, so turn off your mii-ind

when you believe in bullshit

If you believe in bullshit

then come follow me

I’ll rant on and on ‘til you think that I’m free

and maybe, if my rhetoric’s right

you’ll give me your money

and join in my fight

So do my biddin’, baby, then you will see

how the boodle’s in the bullshit and the bullshit’s in me!

Yeah!

Do you believe in bullshit?

Yeah!

Believe in the bullshit of a plausible line

Believe in the bullshit ‘cause you’re feelin’ so fine

Believe in the bullshit that’ll make your mind mii-ine!

Talkin’ about bullshit, believe, my God

Do you believe in bullshit, believe, my God

Do you believe in bullshit, believe, my God

Do you believe in bullshit?

Sex Panic Resolution

Sex Panic Resolution

          Here's my prediction about the sex panic in Hollywood:

First the big men will try the Pence rule; no solitary meetings with any woman. This supposedly protects the women; actually it protects the men, and shuts out the women. But girls-have-cooties interferes with doing show business; so that won't last.

So the real issues will come out. The problem with the casting couch, lately, isn't the couch, that's a constant; it's the casting. There just haven't been many good roles and awards for actresses lately. So the actresses have been putting out for nothing. A swindle!

The actress/director bargain has long been; promotion for discretion. Jerks like Weinstein didn't deliver on their side of the bargain; he was a toll-taker on a bridge to nowhere. He was a deal-breaker; so the actresses broke the 'discretion' part of the deal. It's like labor/management friction, breaking into a strike.

So I predict that the Hollywood sex panic will end as soon as the big money funds lots of must-see flix starring chix. Those films will have good roles for older, washed-up actresses who have real dirt on the big money. That, plus a volley of Academy Awards for those older women next year, and the Hollywood sex panic will just fade away.

The Xi Effect

     The Xi Effect

          Or: The Incredible Shrinking Astronomer

          The Big Bang theory says:

                   Astronomers are fixed in size;

                    And the Universe is expanding.

          But the relativity of size implies that this is experimentally indistinguishable from another theory that says:

                   The Universe is fixed in size;

                   And astronomers are shrinking.

          By this theory, the Universe has always been exactly one Universe across; but the atomic structure of all observers continuously collapses, which creates the impression of an expanding universe.

          Redshift is due to shrinkage; an ancient galaxy’s light is stretched to double wavelength because we measure it with rulers of half size.

          According to astronomers, the Universe is expanding. According to the Universe, astronomers are shrinking. Which do you believe?