The Long Introduction

The Long Introduction

Well, I have sort of a poem here;

it’s called “The Long Introduction”
but I’d like to explain it a bit first
and apologize in advance to everybody here
for this miserable poem’s obvious faults
‘cause you see, I’m no good at reading to crowds
or reading to myself, either
or reading, period
let alone writing,
let alone writing poetry
let alone writing poetry
for literate, sophisticated, brilliant
almost godlike people like you
who are surely offended by my harsh voice
my ludicrous apparel
and my obvious lack of preparation;
and you know this poem will make you suffer
because I suffered so much to write it;
my typewriter jammed, and so did my brain;
my ribbons got tangled, and so did my thoughts;
my pencil snapped, and so did my mind;
so perhaps I’d better stammer awhile
about when and where and who and what and how and why
I decided to write this awful poem;
but  now I hear you shifting in your chairs;
you are contemplating exodus, suicide or murder
so I’d better break into awkward song
and put this so-called poem out of its misery
but not before I apologize thoroughly in advance
just to be on the safe side
so please listen, folks; I’m sorry.
I’m sorry if this poem offends you.
I’m sorry if this poem doesn’t offend you.
I’m sorry if this poem stinks.
I’m sorry if this poem is great.
I’m sorry that I read this poem.
I’m sorry that I wrote this poem.
And what’s more, you’re sorry too.