Accurate astrology

Accurate astrology

From  http://abstrusegoose.com/519 :

When yon star that centers at our system’s heart
Does advance his burning eye
And smatters the peaceful eastern sky
Causing the night’s dank dew to dry
It portents that you shall from your home depart.

or in other words, tomorrow morning you’ll go out!
To Abstruse Goose’s amazingly accurate astrological forecast I reply:

When yon star, alchemic bright, ‘round which the planets gyre
Does advance his burning eye
To meet the bleeding western sky
Causing day’s bright light to die
It portends that many people soon to bed retire.

When yon sphere that orbits ‘round our world near and true
Does advance her silv’ry eye
and shifting phases in the sky
From full to new to full on high
Then women shall, within that time, their cycles once go through.

When yonder sphere that ‘round our world elliptically flies

Does advance by daily creep
To zenith high or nadir deep
Then that portends the mighty sea shall swell to tidal highs;
But when her eye moves through the sky, and Earth’s companion goes

to pass the wide horizon’s crest
by rising east or setting west
Then Oceanus, salty, vast, shall ebb to tidal lows.

When yonder day-star, ‘round which all the planets form a ring

Himself shall find, through course of time

To pass each zodiacal sign

Then all the lands upon the Earth

Save those on equatorial girth

Shall witness cyclic seasons; summer, autumn, winter, spring.

And that’s as accurate as astrology ever gets!