On Corporate Execution, A Modest Proposal

           On Corporate Execution

          A Modest Proposal

 

          WHEREAS:

          Under United States Federal Law, a Corporation is regarded as a Person,

          AND WHEREAS:

          Under United States Federal Law, Persons found guilty of committing certain heinous crimes may incur the penalty of death,

          THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED:

          That under United States Federal Law, Corporations found guilty of committing certain heinous crimes may incur the penalty of death.

 

          Definition of Corporate Execution

          In Corporate Execution, the officers of the state force a Corporation to stop functioning. No human Person is to be harmed in any way, except in being deprived of a functioning relationship with the legally-deceased Corporation.

          In a Corporate Execution, the State shall:

          Repudiate the condemned Corporation’s franchise,

          Deny it all standing in any court of Law,

          Seize its assets, records and property.

          Halt its commercial activities,

          Close its production facilities,

          Dismiss its employees and managers,

Destroy, in public ceremony, a copy of the condemned Corporation’s identifying logo or symbol,

And declare the Corporation Legally Dead.

 

          First Dibs

          Corporate Execution is targeted at the criminal Corporation, not at those amongst its human servitors who are innocent of its crimes. Nonetheless, loss of corporate economic support can cause human hardship. To soften the blow, be it resolved that the first claimants to an executed Corporation’s assets shall be its innocent human servitors; each of whom shall receive one year’s worth of the Corporation’s median salary; or if that be impossible within the limits of the assets seized, all shall receive equal shares.

 

          Just Cause

          Corporations, being legal Persons, may be put to death for the same high crimes for which human Persons may be executed. These crimes include:

          Arson

          Kidnapping

          Murder

          Genocide

          Espionage

          and Treason.

 

 

          Critique of this Law

          A Corporate Execution is the fictional death of a fictional Person at the hands of the State; with violence, pretense and power thus woven into the very fabric of this instrument, it is clear that great evils may result from its misuse. Beware!

          The fundamental flaw of this law is that it may be applied to the wrong Corporations. In this imperfect world, such errors can and do often happen; and the death penalty, by nature, cannot be rescinded once imposed. Therefore this law, if accepted, will on occasion mean tragic and irremediable miscarriages of corporate justice; just like the death penalty for humans.

          Therefore doubt this law!

 

          Logical Conclusion

          BE IT HEREBY KNOWN

          that if

          Corporate Execution is not acceptable in the eyes of the law

          and if

          all persons are equal in the eyes of the law

          then either

          Coporations are not Persons in the eyes of the law

          or else

          the law does not accept death as a valid penalty.