At Half-Mast for Roadkill

 At Half-Mast for Roadkill

 

         I was driving past Colma on December 26, 2006, to find the flag at half-mast there; though it was officially there in honor of Gerald Ford, former unelected President of the United States, I announced to my daughter that, as far as I am concerned, it was really at half-mast in honor of James Brown, the Godfather of Soul; for that is the world in which I prefer to live.

        Later I was driving on the same road. I passed two roadkills; a cat and an opossum. This saddened me; but then I passed Colma, with the big flagpole there, and guess what, it was at half-mast.

        Right away I felt better. I thought, “How considerate of them.”

        Now again, I am well aware that officially the flag was at half-mast for a human, specifically someone prominent in business or government. Nonetheless I insist, just as before, that as far as I am concerned, that flag was at half-mast in honor of the roadkill; and any human being also honored that way is benefiting from a coincidence. That is my story, and I am sticking to it.

 

Welcome to my world.

 

        Since then I have evolved a ritual. Every time I drive past Colma, and the flag there is at half-mast, I take off my hat, I hold it over my heart, and I intone:

        Honor the heroes,

        Honor the V.I.P.s,

        And honor the roadkill!

 

        For we are all heroes,

        And we are all V.I.P.s

        And we are all roadkill!

        Amen!