The est Paradox

The est Paradox

 

          I confess that in former days I bought into some serious follies. I’d catch a meme like a bad cold, and it would take hold, and run its course, then leave me when I finally developed mental immunity. One such mind-flu was est; that is, Erhard Sensitivity Training. Really it was assertiveness training, with some primal scream and some New Age claptrap.

          It did boost my self-confidence, or at least it was an excuse for expressing self-confidence.  So why not some more seminars? They called to ask me to sign up.  I bought in, as far as my budget let me. Eventually they had me helping with phone banks.

          In the last phone bank I joined for est fundraising, I complained about the work rate, and the supervisor accused me of “shitting in the space”.  I shall treasure that memory forever.

          Then came one more phone call, from precisely one of those phone banks, asking me to join another seminar.  I said that I didn’t want another seminar. She persisted, and I decided to get tough.

I said that est is an assertiveness training seminar. She agreed. Then I said that if I agreed to more seminars, even though I don’t want them, then the previous seminars would have failed. She agreed to that. I said that if on the other hand I refused more seminars, then the seminars work, and deserve my money.  She agreed to that.

I said; if I agree to more seminars, then those seminars would already have failed, and I shouldn’t spend the money; but if I refuse more seminars, then the training is effective, and I should spend the money. She agreed to that.

I said; this is a paradox. The est training is effective, and deserves my money, to the exact extent that I deny that it is effective.  Either I pay money for assertiveness that I do not get; and so you cheat me; or else I refuse to pay money, and get all of the assertiveness for nothing at all; and so I cheat you.

She agreed to that.

I concluded; of the two I would rather not be the one cheated.  No more seminars, please.

          After goodbyes, we hung up; and est has never called me since.

 

          It was a very estian way out of est, and I’m glad that at least I got ‘shitting in the space’ out of the experience; and also the est paradox:

 

          Assertiveness training works to the exact extent that the client denies that it works. It is worth the money only if you refuse to pay.