Team Taser

Team Taser

 

Here I propose a replacement for football. It was meant as a simulated war game, but it turns out that chronic repeated football tackles damage the brain.

          Team Taser forbids tackling, but it arms every player with tasers. This is to make their falling-down authentic. (Paintball and laser-tag have an authenticity problem.) Perhaps we can make Team Taser a ball game like football; each team tries to carry a ball to a goal despite the other team's tasering resistance. Or perhaps Team Taser can be a death-cage game, with the last one standing wins it for the team.

          Voltages and currents of tasers are to be regulated. No doubt this will force the evolution of sports tasers, which will hit the streets.

          Once someone is tased, they are out for the game. This is to give in-game authenticity, but also sound medical reasons.  Actually I am not sure how bad chronic repeated tasing is. This is a way to find out.

          Tasing head, neck and groin are to be forbidden. Perhaps crotchguards and helmets would be appropriate; but otherwise the players are to be clad in spandex.

          Basically, Team Taser is a barely sublimated knife fight. Hence vicious. That should appeal to the masses. 

Other taser sports are possible. A one-on-one taser fight, in a ring, would be a fine substitute for boxing. Again, a barely sublimated knife fight.  If you want barely sublimated sword fights: taser canes. Which of course should glow and buzz.

 

 

Three-Handed Games

          Three-Handed Games

 

 

 

          These two games involve triples of players using hand signals. The games are “Odd One Up” and “Triads”.

 

          In “Odd One Up” the three players throw a hand signal; one or two fingers. If all three players throw the same signal, then they draw. If one differs from the other two, then the odd one out wins that round.

 

          In “Triads”, the three players throw rock-paper-scissors hand signals. If they all throw the same signal, then they draw; a shared loss. If two are the same and one is different, then compare the pair versus the singleton by scissors over paper over rock over scissors; the singleton defeats the pair twice, or loses twice. And if the players throw three different signals, then they truce; a shared win.

 

          Odd One Up is a struggle for individuality. Triads tends towards a rotating truce-triple.

 

Ambiguous 4x4 Puzzles

 

Across:

1. Dirty stuff

2. A great human need

3. To make smooth

4. Movie actor

 

Down:

1. Vehicle dependent on H2O

2. We usually want these

3. Just above

4. U.S. State (abbrev.)

 

Two solutions:

 

S M U T

H O P E

I  R O N

P E N N

 

S L O P

L O V E

E V E N

D E R N