When Sogwa Met Sleepy Baby

            Once upon a time somebody from the future meddled with the past. That created a rift in time, and the whole world went the wrong direction, down a false path. The false path had neither truth nor beauty nor vigor, so all the color went out of the world. There was neither blue, nor green, nor red, nor even shades of grey, but everything was in black and white. In the empty world of the false path, everything smelled like deodorant spray, everything tasted like tofu, everybody’s music was off-key, and even thunder sounded tinny. Neither ice nor the noonday sun felt either warm or cold; silk felt ratchety, and a bath felt dry. Nothing moved smoothly, everything was as herky-jerky as a strobe light. When crowds of people walked down the street, they had to march like robots, herky-jerking their arms and legs in unison. Worst of all was a strange itchy emptiness that everybody felt inside, as if something important was missing.

            All of that was spooky, so Sogwa the supercat decided to do something about it.

            Sogwa rummaged in her science cabinet and got out a screw driver, a soldering iron, a TV remote, a microchip, a quartz crystal, a dark energy transmodulator, and a roll of duct tape. She took these things to her lab bench and got to work. She taped and soldered and fiddled and fussed and rewired and repackaged and reprogrammed. Finally she snapped the remote shut. She turned it on and punched the numbers two-seven-one-eight-two-eight-one-eight-two-eight-four-five-nine.  The remote buzzed in her paws like an angry bee; then it made a noise like this:

            AHHH-weep-eep-eep-eep-eep-eep-eep-eep-ip-ip-ip-ip-ip-ip-ip-ip-PING!!!

            And its buttons blazed bright in zebra-colored light.                                               

            And by these signs Sogwa knew that she was holding a fully-operational dark-energy- powered Universal Remote.

            Sogwa took her universal remote outdoors and climbed up to Snail Point, the highest hill in the neighborhood. At the base of Snail Point she paid a brief visit to the Buddha statue that lived there.  She sat facing the Buddha of Snail Point. As usual, she couldn’t quite tell if he was smiling or not, or thinking or not, or napping or not.

            The Buddha of Snail Point opened his eyes and said, “Know thyself.”

            Sogwa replied, “Know thyself.”

            “You carry a weapon,” said the Buddha statue.

            “A tool,” said Sogwa. “I’ll fix the rift in time with it, and get the world back on track.”

            The Buddha said, “In a dream you seek to heal a dream. But who is the dreamer?”

            Sogwa said, “And who is the dream?”

            The Buddha of Snail Point said, “I am the dreamer and I am the dream. But who am I?”

            He closed his eyes. Once again you couldn’t quite tell if he was smiling or not, or thinking or not, or napping or not. Sogwa thought: how very like a cat! Then she got up to go.      

            Sogwa climbed to the top of Snail Point. She looked around. Over this way was something that looked like the city, over that way was something that looked like the ocean. But the breeze off the ocean wasn’t cold, and the noonday sunlight wasn’t hot. The sky had particularly suffered; with no blue in the world, the sky was as black at noon as it was at night.

            Sogwa could see the lukewarm noonday sun, but also the moon, and the planets, and the stars, and the galaxies, and the superclusters. Atop Snail Point, Sogwa could see the Universe as plain as day and as bright as a light at midnight.

            She lifted her dark-energy-powered universal remote; and she pointed it at the universe; and she pressed REWIND.

            And time spun backwards.

            During her time-trip into the past, Sogwa saw by the zebra-colored light of dark energy. She saw a butterfly flutter by in reverse. She saw birds unfly and people unwalk. The sun zipped across the sky. It set in the east and a moment later it rose in the west. Then again, and again, and again the sun, moon and stars spun round and around, faster and faster until they blurred into circles in the sky, dipping and bobbing like the bands on a wobbly top. The sky made a whirring sound as it spun. Sogwa saw trees ungrow. A year unpassed, and another and another and another - and suddenly the sky made a loud noise:

            KA-CHUNG!!                                   

            - and time’s reverse flight stopped. Time paused. Sogwa’s universal remote had taken her back to the moment of the time rift, when someone from the future had meddled with the past. Sogwa pressed her universal remote’s PLAY button, and time started up again.

           

            Right away Sogwa knew that she had gone way back. She was in the old days, when Neanderthal knights in leather armor rode tyrannosaurs down the interstate highways. It was deep time, so far past that lungfish still played video games. In those ancient aeons, trilobites had websites, jellyfish were TV preachers, worms ran the government, and bacteria made all the big decisions. It was four whole years ago, not long after the dawn of time.

            Sogwa knew this because she was in the Old Crib, which was in the old bedroom of the old apartment in the old neighborhood from before the move. And in the Old Crib with her were the Old Favorites. There was Raggedy, and the Girls, and Blue; and there was Rattle Doll, and Brownie, and Tic-Tac-Turtle, and Scorch. And so was the most favorite of the Old Favorites: Sleepy Baby.

            Sleepy Baby sighed, “It’s Sogwa.” Blue yipped, Brownie whimpered, Raggedy and the Girls cheered, Rattle Doll rattled his body, Scorch screeched and Tic-Tac-Turtle went “Grahh!”

            Sogwa said, “How did you know I was coming? I’m from the Future!”

            Sleepy Baby said, “What’s Future?”

            “Don’t you know what Time is?”

            “Don’t know. Don’t care. Help me, help me.”

            “What’s the matter, Sleepy Baby?”

            Sleepy Baby sobbed, “They hurt.”

            “What hurts?”

            Sleepy Baby cried, “Channel Thirteen!”

            So Sogwa used her Universal remote to tune to Channel Thirteen.

            Thirteen was the Memories Of Pain Channel. On it, Sogwa, Sleepy Baby and the other Favorites could see all the ouchies, owies, bumps, bruises, scrapes, cuts and other miseries suffered by a certain little girl.      

                       

            Pain memories came, one after another. Blue whined, Scorch snorted, and the Girls groaned. The show ended big with a face plant.

            Sleepy Baby cried, “Stop it! Change it!”

            Sogwa said, “You want me to protect her?”

            “Make it all better!”

            Sogwa said, “Yes, I can do that. Maybe move things out of her way, maybe warn her just-in-time, maybe catch her when she falls...”

            Sleepy Baby shouted, “Make it didn’t happen!”

            Sogwa said, “I can do that, too. My universal remote has an ERASE button.”

            “Save her! Save her!”

            But something was strange. Something was missing. Sogwa asked, “Who is she?”

            Sleepy Baby said, “She’s Her!”

            Sogwa said, “Yes, I know she’s Her, but... who’s She? I can’t remember!”

            Sogwa couldn’t remember the little girl’s name. Her name was gone from the world, along with color and music and everything fun. Sogwa realized, to her surprise, that the strange itchy emptiness that everybody felt inside was none other than that girl’s absent name. Her name was the something important that was missing.

            Sogwa said, “Who is she?”

            Then she said, “Who am I?”

            Then Sogwa said, “Wasn’t the time rift created by someone from the future meddling with the past? And I’m from the future. And this is the past.”

            Sogwa sat silent awhile. The Old Favorites all looked at her.

            Finally Sogwa said, “No. I will not meddle.”

            The Old Favorites yelled, gronked, howled, rattled and demanded.

            Sogwa said, “No! Forget about it! I refuse to change the past! That would be lying to myself; and lying to yourself is naughty.”

            Sleepy Baby said, “But owies hurt!”

            “Then let us learn from these owies, so they will not hurt us again.”

            Sogwa brought popcorn and apple juice, and she replayed the Pain Show from beginning to end. The Old Favorites ate popcorn and sipped apple juice, and Sogwa said things like, “Those have thorns.” Or, “That thing pinches.” Or, “That’s too high.” Or, “That’s too far.”

            Finally came the big finale. That lively little girl was running fast, laughing out loud, without a care in the world, when suddenly -

            “Urk!” said Tic-Tac-Turtle.

            But Sogwa said, “Don’t scuff your feet while running on concrete!”

           

            The Old Favorites all sighed, and the color red washed back into the world. The time rift was one-third healed.

                                                                                   

            But not all healed.  Sleepy Baby snuffled, “Unfair.”

            “What’s unfair, Sleepy Baby?”

            Sleepy Baby pouted, “Channel Twenty-Three.”

            So Sogwa used her universal remote to tune to Channel Twenty-Three.

            Twenty-three was the Memories Of Conflict Channel. On it, Sogwa and the Old Favorites could see all the snubs and insults and denials and outrages suffered by a certain little girl. There were all those so-called friends and their so-called promises. And the times they took the bigger piece of cake. And when they cut ahead in line. And when they shoved. And when they grabbed. And then there was that birthday party where everybody was invited except Her!

            “I remember it well!” said Sogwa the supercat; and then she made a super-catty remark about a certain snooty someone. The Favorites all laughed.

            So they sat, ate popcorn, sipped apple juice, watched those so-called friends, and laughed at Sogwa’s catty remarks. And they had a pretty good time.

            Then Sleepy Baby said, “But Mommy said No. Daddy said No.”

            Channel Twenty-Three, the Conflict Channel, showed Mommy saying No, Don’t Do This. And Daddy said No, Don’t Do That. And you can’t have These. And you can’t have Those. And that was that; No meant No, no matter how much you fussed and yelled and kicked.

            Sleepy Baby pouted, “Unfair! Hmpf!”

            Sogwa said, “You have to forgive the poor dears. After all, they are only human. What’s more, we are stuck with them.”

            “They were wrong!”

            “Sometimes. But I can forgive that.”

            “They were right!”

            “Other times. And I can even forgive that.”

            Sleepy Baby rolled eyes, and heaved a huge sigh, and the color green washed back into the world. The time rift was two-thirds healed.

            But not all healed. Sleepy Baby murmured, “Gone.”

            “What’s gone, Sleepy Baby?”

            “Channel Zero.”

            So Sogwa used her universal remote to tune to Channel Zero.

            Zero was the Memories Of Loss Channel. At first nothing much happened. Sogwa and the Favorites just lay around the old bedroom. Popcorn crumbs and sippy cups were scattered all over. Then the door clicked open, and in walked Grandma Marge.

            Grandma Marge was as beautiful as ever. Her hair was brown, with white roots if you looked hard. Her face was grooved deep with smile lines. She wore a  half-smile and she hummed a half-tune. Grandma Marge glided around the room, neatening up. She brushed popcorn crumbs off the bed, she straightened the sheets, she gathered the dolls, she tucked them into the crib, and she picked up the sippy cups. Then she glided out, still half-humming. The door clicked shut.

            Sleepy Baby and the other Old Favorites all looked at Sogwa. This time they were calm, and Sogwa was upset. There was a lump in her throat. Sogwa said, “She was old,” and she could say no more. Then she said, “Gone so sudden,” and again she could say no more.

            Finally Sogwa the supercat said, “There’s nothing I can do.”

            And Sogwa wept.

            And the color blue washed back into the world. The time rift was all healed.

            Sogwa cried awhile, then dried her tears. She said, “Thank you.”

            Sleepy Baby cooed, “You’re welcome.”

            After that, Sogwa and Sleepy Baby played games. They played Huggy and Kissy  and Funny Face and Tickle Me and Spin The Baby. At first Sleepy Baby smiled; then giggled, then laughed out loud; and finally Sleepy Baby said, “Sleepy.”

            So Sogwa laid Sleepy Baby back down in the Old Crib. Sleepy Baby’s eyes rolled shut, and Sleepy Baby slept. So did the other Old Favorites.  Blue, Tic-Tac-Turtle, Brownie, Rattle Doll,  Raggedy, the Girls and Scorch all slept quietly as Sogwa crept out of the old bedroom on cat-quiet feet.

            Sogwa went out back to the Blue Room. She leaned out the back window of the Blue Room and she pointed her dark-energy-powered universal remote at the sky. She pushed FAST FORWARD, and time sped forward.

            Sogwa saw people walk and birds fly, fast-forward under zebra-colored light. The sun zipped across the sky. It set in the west and a moment later it rose in the east. Then again, and again, and again, faster and faster until the sun, moon and stars blurred into circles in the sky, dipping and bobbing like the bands on a wobbly top. The sky whirred. Sogwa saw trees grow. A year passed, and another and another and another - and suddenly the sky made a loud noise:

            KA-CHUNG!!

            - and time’s forward flight stopped. Sogwa’s universal remote had taken her up to the present moment. Time paused. Sogwa saw a butterfly suspended in midair, right in front of her nose. She pressed PLAY, and time started up again. The butterfly fluttered by.

           

            Sogwa shut down her universal remote, for the world was back on track. The sky was blue again. The sun was hot and the breeze was cool, again. From the top of Snail Point Sogwa could hear sweet music, and noisy jackhammers too, and she loved the music, and she loved the jackhammers. A dandelion seed drifted by, and its drift was smooth. Sogwa licked her fur, and her fur was smooth.

            Sogwa breathed deep. She smelled the cool breeze. It carried a whiff of yummy fish, which was wonderful. Then the breeze shifted, and it brought a whiff of stinky dog-poop, which also was wonderful. The world around Sogwa was full of beautiful colors, and ugly colors too, and both beautiful and ugly were wonderful. Sogwa picked up a pebble, and it felt rough and jagged, and that too was wonderful.

            For it all was real, and it all was true, and real is wonderful, and true is wonderful.

            Sogwa climbed down from Snail Point. She hurried home, eager to tell Hannah.

            That’s the story that Sogwa told me last night, and now I’ve told it to you. The End.