Tuesday, March 19, 2013

On Tasks In Cahoots

             Note this video about “Age-Activated Disorder Syndrome”:

             There was an intro to a “Malcolm in the Middle” episode with a similar cascade. Dad starts by trying to change a light bulb and ends by trying to realign the car.

             My theory is that the tasks are in cahoots. When you try to do one of them, it calls out an alarm to the others, and they heroically come forth to distract you.

             My solution is merciless lethality. Activate warrior mode. When a task in hand signals “Help! Help! I’m being done!” and the other tasks all chime out, “No, do me instead!”, then ignore them, remember the loudest one, and continue with your original plan. Labor on with grim determination until the task is done, done, done! Nothing left to do! Then turn to the loudest task that was brave/foolish enough to try to save the first. Monotask that one, in front of all the other horrified tasks, until it too is done, done, done. Continue with your massacre until completion. Then reward yourself.

             Pull this stunt three times, and I assure you that the fourth time none of the other tasks will dare to interrupt you. It’s a vicious method, but it works. And it’s satisfying, too!

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