The Resilience of Traditional Values

         The Resilience of Traditional Values

a playlet

The scene: a junior-high school gymnasium in Texas.

The Coach blows his whistle.

“O.K. GIRLS, LISTEN UP! You heard the Principal; the GOVERNOR of the STATE OF TEXAS has ruled that ALL GIRLS  your age WILL be vaccinated FOR THE HUMAN PAPILLOMA VIRUS! That’s a CANCER VIRUS, girls! This is PROTECTION from a CANCER that is TRANSMITTED by SEXUAL INTERCOURSE!”

The Coach blows his whistle.

“So LINE UP!  STRAIGHT LINE! That’s right, move it, move it, move it… GOOD!  Now WAIT YOUR TURN. Nurse Ratched will take you ONE AT A TIME. YOU FIRST!”

Virginia steps up. She thinks:

Oh I’m so scared, mommy says, and daddy says, and the school principal says, that some bad man might do something to me, and give me cancer, or worse still a baby, and I don’t want cancer, ever, and I don’t want a baby, not yet, and I don’t want –

(ouch)

Oh well at least I won’t get cancer. But I’d better watch out for the bad men.

Nurse Ratched replaces the needle, inserts another ampoule, and shouts “NEXT!”

Betty steps up. She thinks:

I’m a good girl, really I am, I don’t need this, do I? I mean, I do like Timmy, he’s so sweet, and I do like hugging him, and I do like kissing him, but I’ve never let him get to first base, well except maybe once, but never ever to second, let alone –

(ouch)

They’re watching me, I just know it. Poor Timmy.

 “NEXT!”

Libby steps up. She thinks:

This is so lame. What a burn! Like they think I’d date these guys? Or let’s face it, they’d date me? And any filthy creep who tries to force me is going down. This is just another stupid grown-up rule, another exercise of authority, another –

(ouch)

And I just consented to it, didn’t I?

“NEXT!”