Ose
Is Dark
(to
the (minor-key!) tune of “Space Is Dark”)
Chorus:
Ose is dark, and
ose is deep
So in vain we
struggled not to sleep
Though we
filkers are insane
We all dosed off
just the same
And our drooping
eyelids testify
To the yawns
that we stifled to a sigh…
When we came in to filk that
night, we were a fannish crew.
We had our songs and instruments,
and of course a keg of brew.
We got our books and guitars out,
and sat down in a ring
And tortured half a hundred tunes
to see if we could sing.
But over our festivities a shadow
fell and spread;
Our voices quavered half a tone,
our strings were flat and dead
Then from our song leader, this
mournful wail arose;
“Why is it, every single song
we’ve sung tonight is ose?”
(Chorus.)
A song is ose primarily when it
has a certain tone;
A kind of whine, a mournful
dirge, a dreary keening drone;
Its lyrics may be sprightly and
as witty as can be
But it’s bound to sound depressing
when it’s in a minor key.
When we pulled into Argo Port in
need of R&R
Our crew set out investigating
every joint and bar
We had high expectations of their
hospitality
But we found too late that it
wasn’t geared for spacers such as we.
(Chorus.)
We struggled hard to lighten up,
but the ose was far too strong
It drowned out all our
instruments, so we had to sing along
It drained our beer, it scraped
our tapes, it busted every string
And it gave us broken ballads
full of misery to sing.
Now every single filker here is
nodding off to sleep
We try to stay awake but we’re
entangled far too deep
We can’t repel the spell of one
of filking’s fiercest foes
So one by one we all succumb to
the power of the Ose!
(Chorus.)
We see our buddies yawn, then
nod, then fall down to the floor
Our casualties are piling high,
as if this were a war
We lay each fallen comrade out to
snore upon a chair
Then we bravely go on singing,
though we haven’t got a prayer.
Against the mighty Ose we fading
few cannot compete;
The Ose is now triumphant; we are
doomed to grim defeat.
Our final conscious action is to
turn of all the light
Then we tumble into slumber as we
bid ourselves good-night.
(Chorus.)
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