Monday, May 12, 2014

Acts of God

        Acts of God

         Once upon a time a strategist offended both atheist and theist, for opposite reasons but to a common end. The strategist was an insurance agent; his clients were the atheist and the theist; and he denied their damage claim, on the grounds that the tornado was an “act of God”.

         The atheist said, “What! How dare you superstitiously blame a natural disaster on an imaginary sky wizard?”

         The theist said, “What! How dare you blasphemously accuse our blessed Heavenly Father of malice or incompetence?”

         The insurance agent said, “ ‘Act of God’ is a term of art in my profession; it denotes events beyond human control, and hence void of force in court of law.”

         The atheist said, “You’re weaseling out of a valid contract!”

         The theist laid a hand on the atheist’s shoulder and said, “Brother, you knew all along that he would cheat us.”

         Later, while the insurance agent was counting out the money he had saved, a light shone down from Heaven, and the image of God said unto him, “Thou art my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased; for thou hast combined superstition with blasphemy to attain larceny!”

         The insurance agent said, “Thank you for this teaching,” even though he knew it all along.

         Moral: You don’t need teaching as much as you need reminding.

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