On
Seeker-Stress
One
morning, my routine went awry when my watch and wedding ring went missing. They
were linked together, that I was sure about, for I usually link them just
before bedtime. But where were they? Not in my hat, along with keys and wallet
and glasses, where I usually stow them. Not near my computer monitor, nor any
of the shelves nearby. Getting desperate, I looked in my car. No luck, and I
was sure anyhow that I’d brought them in.
So
they were in the house, but where? I dithered around a bit, then realized that
I was getting nowhere, and had to forget about them to remember them. So I went
about the rest of my morning routine. Breakfast, blogging, clean the cat-box.
Then I noticed, lying on the ground near the washing machine… it was them.
Watch and ring, time and eternity, found at last. Whew!
I
blame the cats. I must have left the watch and ring on my desk, they discovered
them, and batted them about awhile.
All
that morning I experienced a strange sensation; I call it seeker-stress. A mind suffering seeker-stress repeatedly returns to
thoughts of the missing item, feeling its loss over and over with an equal
pang. Seeker-stress tends to cause obsessive repeated search of the same
location. Therefore the need to suppress seeker-stress for the search to
succeed.
Yet I
have also found that, even after the item is found, a residue of seeker-stress
remains!
I see
in seeker-stress a lesson in Buddhism. Your possessions possess you; by your
attachments you shall suffer; relief is possible only by detachment.
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