Friday, May 30, 2014

Little Fat Guy

            During my boyhood, my brother Marc liked to amuse us smaller brothers by telling us tales of Little Fat Guy, his buddy Big Strong Guy, and the twins Stupid/Intelligent and Intelligent/Stupid. Recently I and my daughter Hannah continued this tradition by composing this story:


            Once upon a time, Little Fat Guy and his friends had tickets to the amusement park. They needed a renta-car to drive there, and naturally they wanted to get to the parking lot first.

            So they went to the renta-car place, and the man there had only two cars; the Hare car and the Tortoise car. Little Fat Guy and Big Strong Guy didn't know what to do, so they asked Intelligent/Stupid which car to get. Intelligent/Stupid said, “Primary vehicular deposition at place of amusement requires maximum travel velocity.” After puzzling this over awhile, Little Fat Guy and Big Strong Guy figured that this meant they should get the Hare car, and they did.

            On the trip over to the park, the Hare car passed every single other car on the road, not once but several times; and yet they got to the parking lot last, and they got the worst spot, ten miles from the entrance.

            The next day they went to the same rentacar place, and got the same choice; the Hare car or the Tortoise car. This time they asked Stupid/Intelligent what do to, and he said, “Try da udda one,” so they rented the Tortoise car.

            On the way to the park, every other car on the road passed the Tortoise car, not once but several times; and yet they got to the parking lot first of all, and got the very best spot, right next to the entrance.

            When they returned the car to the rentacar place, they wondered how come it came out that way. Why did the fastest car get there last, and the slowest car get there first? After looking both cars over, they figured out why:

            The wheels were on backwards!

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