Thursday, February 10, 2022

Back-File Ends of the World

 From the backfiles of the National Liar:

          Back-File Ends of the World



          Every issue of the “National Liar” reports the end of the world. That report is always on the front page, and it is always the second most important story. The National Liar has destroyed the world many different ways; by solar nova, asteroid impact, nuclear war, black hole absorption, and Judgement Day. The end is always sudden and complete; yet it never seems to have any noticeable effect on the average person’s everyday life.

          Here are some ends of the world that the National Liar never got around to during its print run:


          Lethal Pandemic          -        Homo Sapiens Extinct

          Black Hole                   -        Earth Absorbed

          Ecological Collapse    -        Vertebrates Succumb

          Alien Invasion             -        Mankind Exterminated

          Viral Warfare               -        All Mammals Die

          Cthulhu Returns          -        Sacrifices World

          Earth-Moon Collision -        Planet Shattered

          Global Quake               -        Continents Sink

          Earth Ejected From Solar System

          Earth Falls Into Sun

          Neutrino Beam Mishap Extinguishes Sun

          Big Crunch                   -        Cosmos Implodes

          False Vacuum Decays




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