National Liar Film Review:
“Family Values”
In these days of prurient moralism, it is rare and refreshing to find a film which deals with truly adult themes in a truly adult manner. “Family Values” is such a film.
The plot of the movie is simple: boy meets girl, boy weds girl, boy beds girl, girl gets pregnant, girl gives birth, new parents love baby, happy ending. The story is classic, indeed primeval, yet one which the plotmeisters in Hollywood have somehow missed – or told, at best, in fragments. Until now in the movies, love has been systematically separated from sex, and sex has been separated from reproduction. This film transgresses those boundaries, as does real life.
This film combines romantic comedy, hard-core eXXXplicit sex and birthing documentary with a pro-family woman-centered message. There is absolutely no movie-style violence; but the birthing scene is live, authentic, uncut and unsanitized. This movie has real blood in it, but it is the blood of life-giving, not life-taking. All in all, a truly ethical, yet truly passionate, film.
This movie has the look and feel of a “woman’s film”. It has a female director, a female producer, film verité style, tasteful editing and respectful plotting. All profits from the film shall go to the child’s college fund.
This respectfulness does not interfere with a sense of joy and fun. The film’s ad slogan is “Go All The Way!”
Unexpectedly, the Pope approved of this celebration of female sexual power. His Holiness explained, “For us to oppose this film would be for us to condemn human reproduction itself, and that would defy the Will of God.”
The Christian Coalition, Planned Parenthood, the Islamic State, and the National Organization for Women were equally approving.
Ecumenical groups have arranged nation-wide supportive pickets outside every theater showing this film.
William Bennett, noted moral entrepreneur, said, “At last the movie industry has produced something decent.”
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