Back-File National Liar Headlines

 Back-File National Liar Headlines

 

 

          Here are headlines and summaries for stories that the National Liar never got around to covering:

 

          War on Chocolate

          Vampires Evolve Resistance To Garlic

          Government Issues $0 Bill

          Monster Sports Scores

          Childhood Alien Abduction Survivors

          ATF invades alcohol-tobacco cult

          Fundamentalists propose compromise with Satan

          Rumors of Disney peddling subliminal Dollar signs

          Robertson proposes censoring Bible as unsuitable for the young

          Lord Baden-Powell, Founder of Boy Scouts,

                   Banned from Boy Scouts for Homosexuality

          “Square Drug” Sweeps Nation:

                   New drug, invented by CIA, makes users rationalistic,

unimaginative, conformist, tense and conventional.

Suppreses artistic and mystical insight. Overdose causes

users to commit tax evasion, lobbying, downsizing and other\

atrocities.

Federal Reserve proposes Communist Capitalism;

Achieving Leninist oppression and poverty by nominally free-market methods.    

          Reagan Double Presidency:

                   Hinkley’s bullet hit Reagan’s brain; a double was brought in;

the story was suppressed until now; the “Alzheimer’s” was a

cover for brain damage.

          Dinosaurs Return:

Intelligent dinos cloned: they like obsolescent things like big cars, command economies, vacuum tubes, sexism, smokestack industries.