As Inspirational as 1984

As Inspirational as 1984

        For some time now, for some reason, I have been getting inspirational quotes in the email. At first I found them only mildly irritating, but then one day I got this:
     “He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past.”
             -       George Orwell

      An Orwell quote? From 1984? About reality control? Called inspirational?!
   
      The email had a link for people to suggest other  inspirational quotes. I thought, if that’s what they call inspirational, then what else? The possibilities were endless! I settled upon a kind of gargoyle optimism, ideally as absurd and monstrous as Orwellian doublethink.
       I briefly considered, then rejected this quote by Joseph Stalin; “One death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.” Instead I sent in:
 “Who says nothing is impossible? Some people do it all day!”
     -       Alfred E Newman
Since then I have sent in the following:

    “It is not sufficient that I succeed, all others must fail.” 
         -       Genghiz Khan

    “My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?”
            -       Charles Schultz
     
    “To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.”
            -       Mark Twain
     
    “When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.”
            -       George Carlin
     
    “Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.”
             -       Ambrose Bierce

     “The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination.”
             -   Garak the simple Tailor, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine


    “Bela Lugosi is my co-pilot.”
             -       Zippy the Pinhead

If Orwellian doublethink is inspirational, then so are these!